She looked confused. “Yes… obviously? How else would I have been able to see you?”
So that explained all of it. She didn’t even know what I’d seen. She didn’t know that I knew she was now in a relationship with her ex. She’d seen me in my car….
That still didn’t completely explain why she’d come, if she was with someone new. But it did make the visit a little less cruel.
“Sorry…” I said quietly. “That’s not how I thought you saw me. I wouldn’t expect you to know I didn’t want to see you through a car.”
“So how did you think I saw you?” she asked. “What other way was there to see you?”
I probably shouldn’t have said anything. Had I not said anything, I would have been able to save myself the grief of explaining what I knew. But there was certainly no going back now.
“You would have seen me… in the hallway.”
“In the hallway?” she asked. “No… I couldn’t have. I saw you in your car, and I waited for you to come upstairs, but you never did, you just sat there for minutes. And, when I was looking through every hallway when I went downstairs to talk to you, you were nowhere.”
“Yeah… I didn’t come upstairs because I already had come upstairs. You saw me as I was leaving.”
I thought saying this would make everything click for her. She’d realize I’d seen her kiss her new (and old) girlfriend, and she’d know why I was so upset. But she seemed equally clueless.
“If you came upstairs, why didn’t I see you? Why didn’t you come to the door? Did you change your mind about wanting to see me?”
“I did. After I saw you kiss Julia.”
She looked shocked. She fell into my accent chair, mouth agape, it all clicking together for her.
“You saw me kissing my ex…” she said slowly. “That’s why you’re so mad at me.”
“Yes… I mean, no. I don’t care that you kissed her, Kaitlyn. I understand completely. We’re not together. I broke up with you. You have a right to be with whoever the hell you want. I only cared because I thought you knew I saw you, and I thought it was rude of you to come over here and ask me why I came over, even though you’d seen me run away. Because obviously, it hurt me, though that isn’t your fault, and the kind thing to do would be leave me alone. Especially if you’ve moved on to someone else. In fact, why are you even here if you moved on to someone else?”
“Moved on to someone else?” she asked with a furrowed brow. “So… you saw us kiss, and you didn’t hear any other conversation between us?”
“I mean, briefly, I guess. She said something about ‘she really wanted to,’ though I don’t know what she wanted to do.”
She suddenly burst out laughing. It caught me off guard, because nothing I’d said seemed too humorous to me.
“Is that what all this is about?!” she asked. “You’re just mad because you think I’ve moved on and am back with my ex? And that’s the reason you didn’t come talk to me?”
“Yes…” I said, still waiting to hear the humor.
“Emily, I’m not back with my ex!”
“You’re… you’re not?”
“No! Of course not! Even with you and me broken up, I’d never go back to her! Being with you showed me how much better a relationship could be. I could never go back to second best.”
Second best… the words made my heart soar for a brief moment. Her ex was second best, but I was first.
“But I saw you kiss her…” I said, still trying to fit the pieces together.
“No, you saw her kiss me. Very suddenly and a little forcefully, and as soon as the shock wore off, I pulled away. She came to my place totally unexpectedly. I had no idea she’d even be visiting. She just showed up, and I very coldly told her there was no hope for us and to leave.”
I couldn’t believe how wrong I’d gotten it. God, and to think, if she hadn’t seen me in my car in the parking lot, I never would have figured any of this out. I would have stayed clueless and believed her to be back with her ex and probably would never have reached out again.
“So you came here only because you saw me in the parking lot, and… and why did you come here, again?” I questioned.
“Uh, to know why you came to me, I guess. I saw you, and I really regretted missing you, so. Look, I know it’s kind of pathetic for me to be here. You dumped me, and the last thing I should be doing is coming to your house and asking why you wanted to see me, but I have to know. Why did you want to see me?”
This was it, this was my moment. This was the point when I could possibly change things, maybe even change the direction of my life.