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“She bought me a suit once. With her own money. I tell you about that?”

“No, I—”

“She just went into I think Tripler’s and bought it. I didn’t even go with her. I mean she has some goddam nice traits. The funny thing was it wasn’t a bad fit. I just had to have it taken in a little bit around the seat—the pants—and the length. I mean she has some goddam nice traits.”

The gray-haired man listened another moment.

Then, abruptly, he turned toward the girl. The look he gave her, though only glancing, fully informed her what was suddenly going on at the other end of the phone. “Now, Arthur. Listen. That isn’t going to do any good,” he said into the phone. “That isn’t going to do any good. I mean it. Now, listen. I say this in all sincerity. Willya get undressed and get in bed, like a good guy? And relax? Joanie’ll probably be there in about two minutes. You don’t want her to see you like that, do ya? The bloody Ellenbogens’ll probably barge in with her. You don’t want the whole bunch of ’em to see you like that, do ya?” He listened. “Arthur? You hear me?”

“God, I’m keeping you awake all night. Everyt

hing I do, I—”

“You’re not keeping me awake all night,” the grayhaired man said. “Don’t even think of that. I’ve already told you, I’ve been averaging about four hours’ sleep a night. What I would like to do, though, if it’s at all humanly possible, I’d like to help you, boy.” He listened. “Arthur? You there?”

“Yeah. I’m here. Listen. I’ve kept you awake all night anyway. Could I come over to your place for a drink? Wouldja mind?”

The gray-haired man straightened his back and placed the flat of his free hand on the top of his head, and said, “Now, do you mean?”

“Yeah. I mean if it’s all right with you. I’ll only stay a minute. I’d just like to sit down somewhere and—I don’t know. Would it be all right?”

“Yeah, but the point is I don’t think you should, Arthur,” the gray-haired man said, lowering his hand from his head. “I mean you’re more than welcome to come, but I honestly think you should just sit tight and relax till Joanie waltzes in. I honestly do. What you want to be, you want to be right there on the spot when she waltzes in. Am I right, or not?”

“Yeah. I don’t know. I swear to God, I don’t know.”

“Well, I do, I honestly do,” the gray-haired man said. “Look. Why don’t you hop in bed now, and relax, and then later, if you feel like it, give me a ring. I mean if you feel like talking. And don’t worry. That’s the main thing. Hear me? Willya do that now?”

“All right.”

The gray-haired man continued for a moment to hold the phone to his ear, then lowered it into its cradle.

“What did he say?” the girl immediately asked him. He picked his cigarette out of the ashtray—that is, selected it from an accumulation of smoked and halfsmoked cigarettes. He dragged on it and said, “He wanted to come over here for a drink.”

“God! What’d you say?” said the girl.

“You heard me,” the gray-haired man said, and looked at her. “You could hear me. Couldn’t you?” He squashed out his cigarette.

“You were wonderful. Absolutely marvellous,” the girl said, watching him. “God, I feel like a dog!”

“Well,” the gray-haired man said, “it’s a tough situation. I don’t know how marvellous I was.”

“You were. You were wonderful,” the girl said. “I’m limp. I’m absolutely limp. Look at me!”

The gray-haired man looked at her. “Well, actually, it’s an impossible situation,” he said. “I mean the whole thing’s so fantastic it isn’t even—”

“Darling—Excuse me,” the girl said quickly, and leaned forward. “I think you’re on fire.” She gave the back of his hand a short, brisk, brushing stroke with the flats of her fingers. “No. It was just an ash.” She leaned back. “No, you were marvellous,” she said. “God, I feel like an absolute dog!”

“Well, it’s a very, very tough situation. The guy’s obviously going through absolute—”

The phone suddenly rang.

The gray-haired man said “Christ!” but picked it up before the second ring. “Hello?” he said into it.

“Lee? Were you asleep?”

“No, no.”

“Listen, I just thought you’d want to know. Joanie just barged in.”


Tags: J.D. Salinger Classics