“No, no, Vanessa. That wasn’t the surprise,” he says ominously, looking around as if the whole world might already be clued into his secret.
I glance over to my Dad, who can only shrug.
He’s not in on it, whatever it is.
“Jase. You don’t have to…,” I start to tell him, wanting to explain he’s done way more than anyone should to say happy birthday.
But in his usual blustery style, he holds up his hand, speaking over me.
“Tomorrow morning….you’ve got a job interview,” he blurts out. A mischievous grin spreading from ear to ear.
I feel my stomach lurch, and it’s not from the half-gallon of ice cream wrestling with a Tomahawk steak in my belly either.
“…with Hart construction!” he almost squeals, his voice sounding higher than I’ve ever heard it. “…in accounts. I’m gonna be your boss, Nessie bestie. How about that!” he exclaims, clapping his hands together like some kind of evil genius.
But my insides and my mind are swimming for a different reason.
A job at Hart Construction means two things. One: A regular paycheck.
Yay me.
And two: having Jase as my boss, but we all know who really runs Hart Construction.
Jase’s Dad. Michael Hart, that’s who.
“Nessie? Say something,” Jase coaxes me, his enthusiasm falling as I stand up, suddenly rushing to the bathroom.
My Dad stops him from chasing after me, figuring I just need an emergency bathroom break after mixing too many food groups.
But the truth is, I’m not sure if I need to throw up, pee or poop. Or a combo of all three at once.
But the real butterflies aren’t in my stomach.
They’re slightly lower.
And I might fight it with all my being. But, there is no denying it.
The thought of Jase’s Dad feels like it’s swallowing me whole right now.
And for the first time since I started pushing that feeling down, that feeling I get when I think about his Dad, I don’t just like the idea.
I’m craving it already.
CHAPTER TWO
Michael
I’m only in the office a few hours a day unless I can get out of being here at all.
I still like to be out on-site, working like everybody else to get things done.
Getting things built.
I’ve always done that.
There are enough people who work here as it is, and everybody knows what they’re doing. I only make sure I have the final say on any new projects or anything major that needs dealing with.
Like hiring someone new, I always need to be in on that.
Getting my hands dirty and staying in shape with construction is one way of never getting soft and lazy as I get older, but lately, being in the office has meant the picture I’ve had in my mind for a while.
The picture I vowed not to take hold of me, but like Vanessa herself, it has.
In a way, I should be ashamed to admit it, but where’s the shame in following your gut?
Where’s the shame in….
I guess I should go back a few steps to things leading up to that damned picture.
That beautiful, damned perfect photograph of her.
It’s the real reason I carry this needy feeling now, twenty-four seven. That name I can’t get out of my mind.
Vanessa.
I’ve already replayed it all in my mind a thousand times over. Things might’ve turned out differently if I had been on time for my son’s graduation.
If only I could have met his friend Vanessa instead of just catching a glimpse of her as she glanced in my direction before getting into her Dad’s car.
Jase explained I wasn’t the only one who was late. Apparently, Vanessa’s old man, Nate, with his three jobs, had a hard time making it at all, let alone for the actual ceremony.
“But we got a portrait, Dad, and one of me receiving my diploma. Dad?” Jase asked, noticing me lost and vacant as I stared at her from afar for the first time.
It still makes me growl to myself. Missing my own son’s damned graduation. How hard could it be? Just a few minutes earlier, I could have seen her up close.
I could have finally met Jase’s friend, the one he always talks about so much.
Introduced myself properly. Maybe taken us all out to dinner to celebrate.
But the past is the past, and I can’t change that.
I’m reminded of the past every time I step into Jase’s office now that he works for the company he’ll inherit someday.
The portrait of him and Vanessa is sitting on his desk, so everyone who walks in can see it.
Something else bothers me that I couldn’t say aloud to anyone.
Not just how I feel when I see Vanessa, but knowing so many other eyes have passed over her image.
Like she should belong to me, nobody else.
Vanessa.
I groan the word in my mind today like I do every other day. But I hear my voice rumbling her name out loud to myself.