“Just remember this is still all new to me,” she says softly. “But I won’t let you down.”
I shake my head a little. “How could you let me down?” I ask her. “I’m already the happiest man alive.” This makes her smile, but it’s the truth.
I pull out into light city traffic, heading home by instinct. And after a time riding in silence, I glance over at Vanessa.
“Where are we headed?” she asks, sounding interested.
“We could grab a bit to go, and I thought we’d go home…to my place?” I suggest.
Vanessa’s quiet and looks out the window. Something tells me she’s not just running through take-out menus in her mind.
“That okay?” I ask her, not wanting to do anything she doesn’t want.
“I’ve never seen Jase’s house. I mean, your house,” she says, wincing a little as she corrects herself.
I fight the urge to correct her.
It’s our house now if that’s what you want is what I feel like saying, but decide to keep that one for later.
But her point makes me think out loud.
“How long have you known Jase? Must be about four years, and he’s never once asked you over?” I ask Vanessa, wondering if Jase is somehow ashamed to bring his female friends home.
He has other people over, doesn’t he?
“Nope,” Vanessa answers swiftly, shrugging it off and saying something about Jase always being on the go.
Being ‘out and about.’
Saying she’d never pick him as a guy who’d laze around the house all day.
I stifle a laugh, recalling instantly just how lazy Jase can be when he doesn’t have an audience. But what bothers me is that he’s never brought Vanessa over. What bothers me most about that is that I never even noticed that myself until just now.
I could have met her a couple of years ago… We could be raising kids of our own by now.
“Is that bad?” Vanessa asks as I go quiet, wondering what else I’ve missed where Vanessa’s concerned.
Vowing again to make the most of my fortune in finding her and making sure I don’t miss a thing from now on.
“I just think it’s strange,” I mumble.
Ordinarily, I think Vanessa would let it slide without a thought. But sensing me tense up over it, she probes the issue deeper.
“Maybe he didn’t want his Dad running off with his best friend,” she suggests with a mock-serious tone before she too goes quiet. Thinking her own thoughts about Jase, about her and me now.
“I’m away from home a lot,” I remark. “Probably wouldn’t have been home anyway,” I add, which is the truth.
I have been working more hours away from home as the business keeps growing.
I break the nearly sullen mood we’ve put ourselves in by suggesting we get food from any number of the huge signs and drive-thrus we pass.
“Mexican?” I ask, and Vanessa furrows her face, shaking her head.
“Indian? Or Thai even, look,” I say, making myself hungrier just thinking about food. But Vanessa seems bothered by other choices in her mind.
“Are you ashamed to be seen with me?” she finally asks once I give up suggesting.
Figuring a steak or some reheated lasagna can do us both for lunch.
I’m just happy to be anywhere and doing anything with her.
So her question shocks me, and luckily we’re stopped at a railway crossing. A freight train is taking its time, giving me some of my own to reply to Vanesa.
“I want some privacy with you, sure. But what makes you think I’d be ashamed of you?” I ask her, keeping my voice even. Wondering just what she’s been through to give her such a negative view of herself.
She sighs bitterly and admits how confused she feels in an apologetic tone.
“It’s just all happened so fast,” she confides to me, “One minute, I was feeling like an overqualified, unemployed, chunky twenty-year-old. Then, there’s all this,” she says loudly, lifting her hands up in astonishment.
I feel myself relaxing and smiling over at her as the train passes, and the gates go up. I have to tell her that things might be weird for a while.
“For both of us,” I’m quick to add. “I mean…this time of day, I’m usually pouring cement somewhere or going over plans for a high rise as if it’s all that matters.”
“You skipping work isn’t the same as me landing in your lap…in your world,” she says hotly.
Almost as if she’s mad now about what’s happened.
I’d forgotten just how different life is when you’re with someone. And it’s been all of what, an hour or so?
I feel my body shake with laughter, but Vanessa seems bent on having her say, which is fine by me.
She’s got fire in her, and I like that. Even if I don’t agree with her about certain things, I think it’s important she speaks her mind. As long as it doesn’t come between us, and why would it? We don’t always have to agree on everything, but I get the feeling Vanessa might just be hangry.