25
London
“Luc?”I say, opening my door.His eyes are feverish and bright, his body held tight.“What’s wrong?”
He lets out a huge, relieved sigh, so big his shoulders slump with it.“Hi.”
I eye him curiously.“Hi ...are you okay?”
Shaking his head, he rakes his fingers through his hair.“I can’t do this anymore.”
“What?”I gasp, my brows narrowing.“You can’t dowhatanymore?”
“This.”He waves his hand between us.“Not seeing each other.Me overthinking every text, every thought.Us not beingus.”
My pulse skyrockets.“Luc, what’s going on?”
He takes a step toward me.“This is just all so stupid and ridiculous.”
“What is?”I ask, moving back as he walks past me and toward the living room, leaving me standing there wondering what the hell is going on but also finding this out of sorts and disgruntled version of my best friend amusing and endearing.
“Come in, why don’t you,” I say.
He turns when he reaches the middle of the room, watching me as I follow and perch myself on the corner of the couch.
“You’re confusing me.What happened?”
“You happened.Wehappened.And now I can’t do anything without thinking about you and wanting to see you and talk to you.To touch you.To do everything I’ve wanted to do to you and couldn’t before, and I thought I could give you all the time and space you needed but I couldn’t stay away.”He shakes his head with a sigh.“Sorry.I’m sorry.I’m just ...Cap gave me my results and all I wanted to do was share the news with my girl.”
I jump to my feet.“Oh my God.You passed?”
His face lights up.“I did.And I don’t have to leave 101.Which is even better news.But none of that matters without you, Lonnie.”
Oh, my beating heart.My sweet, loveable idiot.
I go to move toward him but he starts pacing, but realizing there’s obviously more he needs to get off his chest, I stop.
“We had an amazing date and then an evenmoreamazing night together.I got up to shower and get ready for work and told you I’d be back.Then I went to wake you up, walking on air because you’d said you loved me and I was about to tell you I was right there with you, but you weren’t there.”
My mouth opens to say sorry but he keeps going, making my planned apology pointless.“And I get that, I do.You've had these feelings for me for so damn long, and I stupidly didn't want to give in to what I was wanting with you, and I grabbed onto whatever excuse I could think of to hold you back.”
Now I don’t want to stop him talking.This is the Luca Rossi I’ve wanted—the open, honest, laying-everything-out-for-me version.
“It’s like the roles are reversed, and suddenly, we had amazing sex and you’re here looking completely fine and put together, and I’m a needy, impatient, confused mess who just misses his girl and wants her back.Is it something I did?Was it not good for you?Am I wrong to think that everything changed and we’re starting something here?”
My whole body jerks.“Luc ...”
“Nope, don’t answer that.It doesn’t matter,” he says, shaking his head as he turns to pace again.
“Luc, please stop moving and look at me.”Thankfully he does, our eyes locking together and suddenly everything is right.
I cross my arms over my chest.“Do I get to say anything now?”
He clenches his jaw, lifting his hand to scrub over his stubble.“I don’t know.I didn’t exactly come here with a plan.I just knew that I’d passed my exam and you were the only person I wanted to share that news with.I needed to see you, beautiful.I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you too.So much.”
“Then why are we not together?Why are we texting and then not, and then I’m overthinking everything I say because I don’t want to screw this up and lose you when I’ve just realized that I never want to live without you?”