7
Luca
Val: Don’t worry about picking London up.I’ll grab her on my way.
I groan as I drop my phone onto the mattress and stare at my bedroom ceiling.A big part of me wants to reply and tell her I’ll do it because I want to see for myself that my girl is okay.But another part of me wonders how that would actually go since London hasn’t replied to any of my texts other than her ‘big brother’ dismissal when she got home.
Cohen made it clear once we’d caught up back at the firehouse that he thought I’d overreacted at the restaurant.And I know I did, but there was something about the way she looked at him—she’s looked at me that way before, and it usually makes me feel ten-foot tall and bulletproof.It made my chest burn with an unknown feeling I couldn’t process on the fly.
I can even admit that I was a bit shocked and put off by the fact that she hadn’t told me she had a date too.I’m not her keeper, I know that, but we’ve nevernottold each other important things.Right from the start, we’ve been completely honest with each other—like two open books.So maybe it was more of a wake-up call of sorts for me.
Perfect Brock’s verbal smackdown was definitely unappreciated though.What kind of name isBrock, anyway?And why is he soperfect?He can’t be if their date was a non-starter, like he said.But is that the kind of man London wants to be with?And what did he say about her having a ‘stupid crush’ on her best friend?I thought we’d moved past that unexpected kiss months ago.London and I are good—greatin fact.Well, I thought we were.
“Fuuuck,” I groan, scrubbing my face with my hands.I’m too tired to think about this shit.
I’m definitely an idiot if I think London might forget about last night.Where do we go from here though?Unlike London, I was stone-cold sober and Brock’s words have been imprinted on my brain for hours now.
I just don’t know what to do.There’s no way in hell I’m risking my friendship with Lonnie for something more, not if it means I could lose her from my life.She’s my girl.The only woman who has ever just ‘got’ me.She’s so kind and loyal and giving to a fault.She’s the first person outside of my family who I go to if I need to talk, or vent, or just chill out and relax.When we’re together, I can just be me and she can just be herself.
I don’t know why Brock thought I’d ever hold her back.And why he thinks I don’t appreciate my friendship with London.She’s the best woman I know and if I have my way, she’ll be by my side until I’m old and gray and falling apart.She’ll still be hot—a sexy geriatric charming all the staff at the old folks’ home we’ll live in.
Why would I ever complicate any of that with feelings?Work relationships rarely worked out--even if it had with Cohen, as he reminded me earlier that morning.
“You’re an idiot,” Cohen said.
“What?”
“Why did you come over and check on Lonnie?”
“Because I could tell she had been drinking, and I wanted to make sure she was okay.”
“No.You didn’t like seeing her on a date with another man,” he replied matter-of-factly.
“London and I are not—”
“Bullshit.Fuck, Luc.Stop deluding yourself.There’s something there; you know there is.You’re just ignoring it out of fear you’ll screw it up or because of the dumb-ass ‘rule’ that makes firehouse women off-limits.Guess what?I broke the rule and you guys didn’t throw me in the lake, and it would be the same for you if you were serious about her.”
“I don’t—I mean.I’ve gotta go,” I said before leaving the garage.
After that, I made a point to avoid him for the rest of the shift.
That doesn’t help me now though.
A quick look at the clock tells me I don’t have any more time to think about last night, or London, or what the hell any of this means.
You know what it means—you’re just a coward.
“Fuck off,” I mutter to myself as I swing my legs over the side of the bed and get up.
One thing is for sure: lunch today with my family will definitely be interesting.
“Hey, Mama,”I say, wrapping her in a big hug when she opens the front door to my childhood home.
She pulls back and reaches up to cradle my jaw in her hands, tilting my face from side to side as she looks me over.“Luca, are you okay?You look tired.You work too much.”
I smile and lean in to kiss her forehead.“You always say that to me.Never to the others.”
Her eyes crinkle at the sides.“I do.I worry about all of you.Too much work and no play does you no good.”