“What are you doing?” he demands. “Do you need something?”
I shake my head as angry tears burn in the corners of my eyes. I can’t even fucking walk. How cruel is this future I’m facing? Why the hell couldn’t they just let me die?
He sinks to his knees in front of me and cups my cheeks, forcing me to look up at him. “Ember.”
“Just—I’m fine.” Emotion rips through me, and I choke down a sob. I’m done crying. Done feeling sorry for myself. “I was scared.” The admission is a massive hit to my pride, but it’s the truth. I was terrified I’d be ripped away again, and this time, Rafferty wouldn’t find me. Wiping my hands over my cheeks, I look up at him, taking in his appearance. Strong, stubbled jaw, gorgeous golden eyes—is there a man anywhere who does not pale in comparison to this warrior?
“What were you scared of?”
“The pooka. They came so fast. I didn’t even have a chance to try and—” My throat burns, and Rafferty reaches up to cup my cheek.
“While we were looking for you, they relocated the camp. It’s quite amazing what fae can accomplish, aye?”
He’s trying to make me feel better, to make me smile, but all I can focus on is the dread in my belly. “I’m so sorry I woke you.”
“Don’t be.” He brushes hair behind my ears. “Are you in pain? I can try and find some—”
“No. I’m just weak. I’m so fucking weak!” I choke on the last word, my shoulders shaking. Being the victim was never my thing. Even when I got sick, I tried so damn hard to maintain my composure. But everything I’ve faced recently—everything I continue to face—it’s wearing on me.
When am I just going to die? When can I leave this all behind?
And then Rafferty’s hands go to my arms, making me want to stay here forever. I would tolerate torment every moment of every day if it meant getting to be with him.
Except, I can’t even do that, thanks to the dark magic in his blood.
“Why do these attacks keep coming? Is it possible that Taranus is pushing them through?”
“No. Pooka do not work for anyone but themselves.”
“What about that other creature?” If we can find a connection, then maybe—
“That I do not have an answer for, though I do believe it is unlikely.”
“I can’t take much more.” Tears burn my eyes and I swallow hard, trying to focus on anything but the horrible future that likely awaits me. Because even as I didn’t want to die, I truly believe this disease is the least of my problems.
Dying peacefully? Apparently that’s just another card not in my deck.Fucking great.I sniffle.
“Ember.”
I shake my head, not wanting to look at him. Not yet.
“Ember,” he repeats.
This time, I give in and tip my face up. Thick lashes frame his eyes, and when I focus on them, I can see the black around his irises has grown yet again. “You need to take me home so I can die. It will only take a matter of days, Rafferty. And with the Veil open, you could stay with me if you wanted—”
He shakes his head. “I’m not taking you home, Ember.”
“Do you not see what I’m doing to you? I’m a liability. Between the creature and the dark magic—”
“I will be fine.” But even as he says it, his gaze drops down, and the black band around his irises expands then contracts.
I follow his gaze and realize what is left of my breasts is all but spilling out.Shit.I pull up my shift. “Are you okay? Do you need—”
He pushes to his feet. “It is hard. Being so near to you.” Swallowing hard, he shakes his head. “Every moment in your presence brings me closer to the edge, Ember. But I’m starting to think I might not care if it costs me everything.”
His words catch me off guard, and before I can stop myself, my gaze drops to his mouth. Those talented damn lips. His hands.
“Seeing you bloody yet again—knowing I couldn’t protect you—”