“You’re giving up?” Amber’s voice cracks. “Just throwing in the towel?”
“I’ve been at this for five years. I’ve spent nearly every cent of my savings on hospital bills I will probably never be able to pay off. I’m exhausted with it. And if the best doctors in the States can’t find out what’s wrong with me, I doubt anyone else will.”
“But you have to try. There’s still time,” she insists.
“He gave me six months.” They all fall silent, each in varying stages of disbelief.
“Six months?”
“According to Dr. Alexander, I won’t see this next Christmas.”
“Well, screw him. What does he know?”
I smile at Wally. “He’s the best auto-immune specialist in the world,” I remind him. “And he spent a year testing me for everything under the sun.”
“Six months,” Amber repeats. “I just…I don’t know what to say.”
“Whatever you need from us. We’re here. Just tell us what you want to do.”
I offer Heather an appreciative smile. “I actually think I want to take a trip. I’ve never left the state, and honestly, I want to see something other than the Austin skyline before I die.”
They’re quiet a moment. Then Heather finally breaks the silence. “Where will you go?”
Straightening, I reply, “I’m going to go to Ireland.”
Amber’s eyes widen briefly. “That’s a long trip, Ember.”
“It is. But it’s where my finger landed on the map when I closed my eyes and spun around in a circle last night.”
Heather shakes her head. “You’rekiddingme. Tell me that’s not how you decided.”
“I wish I could. But it’s the truth. I want to see so many places; that was the only way I could really decide.”
Amber’s lips turn up in a half-smile. “Just like that, huh?”
“Just like that. I’ve spent my entire life doing things on other people’s terms. The orphanage, shelters, and for the last five years—countless doctors. I want to spend what’s left of my life onmyterms. Doing what I want, when I want, how I want. No more tests, poking, prodding—none of it.”
“But you’ll be alone,” Wally insists.
“Technically, I will. But I know that when I really start to go downhill, I can come back here.” The lie is bitter on my tongue. The truth is that if I leave this place, the only way I’m coming back is in an urn. Hell, I probably won’t come back in an urn. I have no family. I’ll more than likely end up cremated and shoved in a back closet somewhere.
Not really sure how all that works, but I won’t give a shit because I won’t be breathing anymore.
Heather’s gaze softens. “Are you sure you’re up for it, Ember?”
“Not really. But if I don’t go, I’ll always regret it.” I take one of her hands, then one of Amber’s, and look up at Wally. “I’ve never been anywhere but this city, never done anything because I was always waiting for the right moment. But I think I’ve run out of time.” My eyes fill, and a tear slips down my cheek. “I can’t wait any longer,” I tell them. “I need to go, to see the world—or at least, another part of it.”
I release Amber and Heather.
Wally takes my hands in his. “There is a plan for you, Ember. You have to believe that.”
“I do believe that,” I reply, yet another lie. “But I think that maybe whatever I was supposed to do has already been done.”
The elevator dings, and a woman steps out, offering me a tight smile before heading out into the sunlight.
Alone again, I turn back to them. “I hope you guys know just how much you mean to me. You’ve been like family to me over the last year, and I never would have made it this far without you.”
“Yes, you would have,” Amber insists. “Because you’re a badass, Ember Hall. A badass that I’m so grateful to call my friend.”