I don’t particularly feel like sex, but who knows. Maybe Cayde will be able to take my mind off of all of this. I know every night I spend with him and with Dean is just a distraction, just pushing off the inevitable. But I feel like I’m starting to become addicted too—to the high of how he makes me feel, the pleasure that he gives me, that they both do. And I keep making excuses for why I should let the addiction continue. Why it’s okay to enjoy it, even when I should be thinking about other things.
It doesn’t matter,I tell myself as I walk down the hall.You’re supposed to go if he asks, regardless of how you feel about it. So just use that as your excuse.
“Athena.”
I stop dead in my tracks, halfway to Cayde’s room, my heart skipping a beat in my chest as I hear Jaxon’s voice behind me. It’s deep and rough, almost pained, and I feel shivers of electricity over my skin as I slowly turn.
“Where are you going?” His eyes rake over me, and I wonder if he’s thinking about last night. I certainly am. Just looking at his chiseled face, those dark eyes, those full lips, reminds me of how his mouth felt between my legs last night, the sounds he’d made as I slid him into mine.
“Cayde’s room.” I look at him uncertainly, wondering why he’s asking. He hasn’t cared much about my comings and goings lately, that’s for sure. And he’s always cared least, out of all of the guys—at least in terms of controlling me. “Didn’t you hear him say at dinner—”
“I heard him just fine.” Jaxon’s jaw tenses, and he starts to move towards me, with all of that tight, feline grace he always has. I take a step back, suddenly on alert, but he’s too quick. He grabs for me, his hand landing on my upper arm, and before I can react, he’s using my weight to push me backward, up against the wall with a thud that takes a little of the wind out of me. “I thought I taught you better than that,” he growls as he leans towards me, his leg moving between mine as his other hand lands on my other upper arm, effectively pinning me against the wall.
“Jaxon, what are you doing?” My voice is a whisper, and I look up at him, my heart suddenly pounding in my chest. “Jaxon—”
“I don’t want you to go to Cayde.” His voice rasps over my skin, the pain in it tearing at me. “I want—Christ, Athena, I want you so fucking bad.”
When his mouth comes down on mine, it takes my breath away for an entirely different reason. His kiss is hard and punishing, rougher than he’s ever been, his tongue forcing its way between my lips and into my mouth, thrusting possessively inside as it snakes against mine. It feels like every nerve in my body comes alive when he kisses me, like I can feel the blood rushing through my veins, the hairs standing up on my arms.
I should tell him.I can feel myself hovering on the precipice of something dangerous, something I could fall into, something that could really hurt when it inevitably ends. Something that I shouldn’t do without telling him, at the very least, that the girl he used to be madly in love with was my half-sister.
But I don’t want to stop. He’s pressed up against me now, his cock close to bursting out of his tight jeans. It’s so hard, the heat of him burning through layers of fabric and into my skin as if he wants to set me on fire. I feel like I already am, my skin flushed and hot, and I feel myself arching against him, wanting more. More of his hard body, more of his strong hands, more of his ferocious mouth against mine, as if he wants to devour me, just like he did last night. I want all of it, and I want him to keep going.
“I want—” he hisses the words through his teeth, and I can feel him shudder. “I want you. In my bed, underneath me, I want to fuck you so hard. I should have—”
He bites off the words, his hand leaving my arm and sliding up into my hair, fisting in the long dark locks until it pulls my head back, baring my throat for him. His mouth leaves mine, trails a line of fiery kisses down my throat, and I hear myself moan, a soft needy sound that sends a flush of embarrassment through me.
“I’ve never made you do anything, Athena,” Jaxon whispers, his mouth still pressed to my throat, his tongue making circles on my sensitive skin. “But I’m telling you to come with me, now.”
There. There it is.The excuse that I need. He’s ordered me to do it, to come with him to his room, and I can’t defy an order from one of the heirs. It’s in my contract. I have to do whatever they say, and I’vebeendoing it, been letting Cayde and Dean order me and manhandle me and punish me and fuck me since the beginning of the semester.
But I fought them, at first. I defied them, and I’ve been defying and fighting them ever since, all the way up to that fateful party. And since then—
Since then, everything has changed.
So deep down, I know that Jaxon’s status as an heir and his orders don’t really make a difference. I could fight him. I could defy him. And if I did, he’d probably let me go. I already know Jaxon’s tastes don’t lean towards coercion.
But I want the excuse. I want to pretend that I have a good reason not to open my mouth right now, as he pulls me down the hall towards his room, that I have a good reason to fuck him with those secrets still burning on my tongue.
The moment we’re inside his room with the door shut, he throws me up against it again, but this time he doesn’t use his hands to pin me to the hard surface.
This time it’s his body that holds me there, pressed against mine so that I can feel every flex of muscle, the hard ridge of his cock, the heave of his chest as he gathers my hair up in his hands and kisses me again wildly as if he’s starving.
“I can’t take it anymore,” he pants. “Every day, seeing you, wanting you—I can’t fucking stand it.” He pulls back from the kiss, his eyes searching mine. They’re so dark it’s hard to tell the difference between the pupil and the iris. Nighttime eyes. Demon’s eyes. They’re all demons, but Jaxon was always the least of them. And even right now, in his room with his eyes gone wild and his body heaving against mine, I’m not afraid of him.
I’ve never really been afraid of him.
“I have to have you,” he groans, his lips on my mouth again, my jaw, my throat, one hand leaving my hair to cup my breast through the thin cotton shirt I’m wearing. “I jerk off every night thinking about you, Athena. Every fucking night. I come moaning your name. I can’t do it anymore.”
His eyes meet mine again, wild and hungry. “Tonight, I’m going to come inside of you.”
The words send a delicious shiver down my spine, and I know I can’t stop this. It’s like a runaway train, too far off the tracks now to change anything. With my hands free, I reach for him, running my fingers over the shaved sides of his scalp, through the longer hair on top, breathing in the scent of his soapy, warm, clean skin. He always smells so fucking good, like outside, like open roads and freedom, and I breathe him in, tilting my chin up to kiss him as I slide my hands down his shoulders, his back, reaching for the hem of his t-shirt.
I want to see him naked. I want his clothes gone, and mine too, to feel his skin on mine. I yank his t-shirt up, my hands sliding over the muscles of his back, around to his chiseled abs, nails trailing over the ridges as I pull it up over his chest. I force him to break the kiss just long enough for me to yank it off, and then I press my palms against his chest, curling them against his skin as I lean up to kiss him again.
“I’m going to fuck you so many ways tonight,” Jaxon growls against my mouth, his hands fumbling with the button of my jeans. “I hope you’re prepared to miss class tomorrow because you’re not getting any sleep.”
“Sounds good to me.” I yank his belt open, dragging down his zipper, reaching for the long, thick cock that I enjoyed sucking so much last night. I start to sink down to my knees, wanting to take him in my mouth again, to play with the piercing and listen to him groan as I lick my way down to his balls, but Jaxon shakes his head.