“I never said you were less than them,” she seethes, glaring up at me. “I wanted to fuck you first, remember? I came to you, and you fuckingrejectedme! None of that would have happened if you would have just given in and fucked me, not that party or me fucking Dean or Cayde and probably not even me getting kidnapped! So don’t act like this is my fucking fault when you’re the one who has been running away this entire time!”
“You don’t fucking understand anything,” I growl, lunging forward so that she’s pinned against the locker. I grind my hips into hers, letting her feel how hard I am, the thick length of my cock filling out the front of my shorts. “Is that what you want, Athena? You want this cock? Two of them aren’t enough for you?”
She tries to slap me again, but I grab her wrist before she can, pinning both her hands up above her head as I grind against her. “I bet you’re dripping wet. You gonna go home and beg one of the other guys to lick it up for you?”
“Don’t act like I’m some fucking slut,” Athena hisses, her gaze meeting mine defiantly. “Would you rather I’d have let Dean take over? Let him run the show and tell you what to do for the rest of your fucking life? I’m trying to fix things here, Jaxon, not make it worse. So what if I’m getting some pleasure out of it? Would you rather I hated it every time they touched me?”
I don’t know the answer to that. The thought of them touching her makes me angry and frustrated and horny all at once. I don’t know if I’d rather she didn’t want it or if I’m glad that she can at least take some pleasure out of what she’s been pushed into doing.
The truth is thatIwant to be the one to drag all of those desires out of her, that I wish desperately that I’d been the one to take her virginity, to introduce her to all the filthy things she’d found out she loved. It hurts to know that Dean has something I can never have, something that I wanted so much, all because of this fucking town that’s taken so much from me already.
Athena tilts her hips up, her eyes still defiantly glaring into mine as she wiggles them. “I haven’t been tryingnotto fuck you, Jaxon,” she whispers, licking her lips and making me ache even more than I already do. “You’ve just been avoiding me. You didn’t come to check on me evenoncewhile I was healing.” Her eyes have the same anger and hurt now, fixed accusingly on mine. “So don’t act like you give a shit about me.”
I stare down at her, my heart pounding in my chest. “So what would you say if I said I was going to fuck you right here? Right up against this locker?” I tighten my hands around her wrists, breathing shallowly as I feel my cock throb, screamingyes, yes, this is what we need, this is what you want, and damn the consequences.
“Do it,” Athena taunts. “Right now. Do it.”
Athena
I’d thought I was horny a couple of days ago when Dean and Cayde punished me in the study. I’d thought after a month of deprivation, I couldn’t havewantedmore than I did then, couldn’t have felt the ache more keenly.
But right now, crushed up against the locker with Jaxon’s heavy erection pressing against my thigh, the heat of him burning into my skin and the sweaty, masculine scent of him surrounding me, all the months of wanting him to feel, piled up onto one another, making me ache in a way that threatens to surpass how I’d felt a couple of days ago.
I don’t care how or where he does it,my body seems to cry out.Just as long as he does.
I’m supposed to be going about this in a calculated way. Still, there was nothing calculated about how I’d followed him into the locker room. I’d been driven by anger and frustration. Even now, I can’t help but feel hot jealousy at the fact that he still has a picture of his ex in his wallet, or feel uncomfortable at the fact that she looks so much like me, as if he only wants me because he can pretend that it’s her.
“Do it.” I lift my chin, glaring up into his eyes. “Right now. Do it. Are you going to think aboutherwhile you do? Is that all I am, just a replacement for a girl you can’t fuck anymore?”
As the words leave my mouth, I know I’ve fucked up. Rage and pain mingle in Jaxon’s face, until his expression is more terrifying than Cayde’s ever was. I know that whatever happened to her, something about it hurt him badly, a pain that still runs deep.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he growls, his hands tightening on my wrists until pain shoots down my arms. “You have no fuckingidea!”
I gasp, twisting in his grip. “Jaxon, you’re hurting me!”
When he doesn’t let go immediately, I feel something I hadn’t felt before since I came back to Blackmoor House, not outside of my nightmares anyway, a creeping, twisting fear that slides coldly through my veins, chilling my blood, making my heart start to pound, and then race, my vision darkening at the edges.
Panic starts to flood through me, taking over my senses until I can feel myself losing control, it fraying at the edges as I twist wildly in Jaxon’s grasp, gasping for breath. Someone somewhere is screaming, a high ragged sound that terrifies me even more, and dimly as Jaxon lets go of me suddenly, scrambling backward, I realize that it’s me.
My legs can’t hold me up, my knees turning to water, and the second his body isn’t pinning me to the lockers, I drop like a sack of potatoes, hitting the floor hard as I start to cry, gasping for air as the tears stream down my face.
“Athena!” Something in his voice changes, and I dimly realize he’s coming towards me again. I throw my hands up, but he doesn’t touch me. I realize, as my vision slowly brightens that he’s kneeling next to me, his eyes wide with concern, his hands held out as if he wants to touch me but is forcing himself not to. “Christ, Athena, I’m so sorry, I didn’t think—”
“I didn’t either, I just—” I fall forwards then, into his arms, against all reason. He’s been cruel to me, hurt me, ignored me, but I hurt him today too. I was looking for someone to lash out at, and Jaxon seemed like a good target because, just like he said, I don’t expect him to treat me the way Dean or Cayde would if I talked to them like that.
He hesitates for just a second, and then his arms go around me, pulling me against his chest as he holds me gently and lets me cry against him. His bare skin feels warm and good against my face, that masculine scent making me feel protected, which shouldn’t make any sense after the fight we just had. But something about Jaxon has always made me feel safe, no matter how often he’s told me that I shouldn’t see him as an ally.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
“I shouldn’t have treated you like that.” Jaxon presses his lips against my shoulder, his hand stroking my hair. “I didn’t even think what could happen, how that could make you feel—” His voice sounds hoarse, pained. “I made you have a flashback.I’mthe one who should be sorry. After everything that happened—”
“Let’s just not talk about it.” I pull back, sniffing back tears, aware of how I must look with my eyes red and swollen and my nose running. The furthest thing from sexy, I’m sure, but I think we’re past that. Once again, I’ve failed to seduce Jaxon. And once again, all we’ve done is fight.
“I’m going to go.” I wipe my hand across my face, dashing away the tears and snot. “I’ll walk home.”
“I can still give you a ride—”
“No, it’s fine,” I say quickly. “The air will do me good. It’s not even dark out yet; I’ll be fine.”