“So are you,” Connor smirks, his fingers still lightly petting the outside of my aching pussy. “You can’t pretend like you’re not. Like you haven’t been hoping I’d come take it, so you wouldn’t have to admit how much you want it, even if you say otherwise.”
I grit my teeth together because he’s right. Even now, as pissed as I am, I’d be even more upset if he stopped. My own touch isn’t enough. I need him, his strength, his roughness, his desire, and I have to bite my lip to keep from saying that aloud, from telling him just how much I truly do want him.
How much I wish we could stop all this game-playing and make it real.
His fingers push deeper, just inside of me, and my control slips. I let out a tiny mewl of pleasure, squirming under him, and Connor’s wicked smile widens.
“That’s it, princess,” he croons. “Take those fingers like you’re going to take my cock in a few minutes.”
His thumb slips down, caressing my clit, and I press my mouth tightly against my arm. It feels so good, his fingers touching me just the way I like, and Iwantto come. I want more.
“Just let go,” he rumbles, his voice a deep rasp in his throat, and it sounds almost like a plea. I know he’d never admit it. He’d call it a command, an order. He’d tell me that he’d never beg me for anything, just as I’d say the same about him. I don’t know how either of us could ever get to a place where one could truly give in to the other, but I wish—ohgod, how I wish—we could.
I’ve wished it since I took Connor McGregor back to my hotel room that first night and realized that I would have given just about anything to be taking him up to my room for real, not tricking him into a meeting with my father.
Since I realized that the Connor McGregor found in London isn’t the man I remember, but someone so much better. Stronger, smarter, more cunning, more gorgeous, more ruthless, and independent. A man that I wish I could live a different life with.
“What if I do?” I whisper so quietly that I don’t know if he hears me. But when he leans over me, his fingers pushing deeper as he slants his head sideways to claim my mouth in a kiss, I know he did.
It’s just that there’s no real answer for it.
I arch backward into his hand, closing my eyes as the pleasure ripples over me. His lips are full and warm and firm, his bare chest sliding against my back, the scent of sunscreen and heated skin filling my nostrils as I clench around him, my body tightening with spasms of the kind of pleasure only he can give me. I hear the Velcro sound of his trunks opening, and it reminds me of the day after our wedding night when he bent me over in my parents’ mudroom and fucked me just like this, bikini pulled aside, fast and hard.
Except we’re alone now, and no one will catch us or stop us. This place is ours, our kingdom, and we could rule over it all.
One way or another, wewill.
I feel his fingers leave me, replaced by a thicker, harder sensation as he thrusts into me, groaning against my lips. I feel myself spasming around him again as if it’s just another wave of the same climax.
“This isn’t just getting me pregnant,” I gasp, narrowing my eyes up at him as I twist my head to look over my shoulder, the words coming out strangled by pleasure. “I said—”
Connor grins, sinking himself into me again with another hard thrust that leaves me breathless. “Orgasms help with that. I read it somewhere. I’m pretty sure it’s science, in fact.” He thrusts again and again as he speaks, his voice hoarse and rasping, and I feel as if I’m coming apart at the seams with how good it feels.
Our chemistry is ridiculous. Whether we’re arguing or fucking, it’s explosive, and I don’t want him to stop. It’s the most incredible thing I’ve ever felt in my life.
“I’ll do anything I need to,” Connor murmurs throatily, his lips grazing my ear. “Anything I have to do in order to make sure you’re so thoroughly fucked that you can’tnotget pregnant.” He sinks into me again, hips rocking against my ass as he thrusts in as deeply as he can go, and I moan helplessly.
“It must be—such—a—fucking—chore—” I gasp out, feeling myself tighten around him. “You poor thing.”
“I’ll manage.” Connor nips at my ear. “I’m not going to stop until I get my way, Saoirse. Until you’re pregnant withmychild. I’m going to make sure you’re full of my cum every second of the day.”
I close my eyes, arching back against him as he captures my lips again, feeling the searing heat of him fill me as he groans. I want it to be more. I want it to be about more than just children. More than just fulfilling a duty. And I feel, deep down, that itis—for him as well as for me. That we’re both fighting against something that doesn’t make sense anymore.
We’d be so much stronger together.Reallytogether.
The hot surge of him sends another orgasm crashing over me, through me, tearing a cry of pleasure from my lips as I grind against him helplessly. He holds himself inside of me so deeply that it feels as if we’re melded together, lips against the back of my neck as he groans.
There’s that brief, perfect moment where we’re slumped together, hot and sticking to one another, so wrung out from pleasure that neither of us can move. That moment where I can forget that he isn’t ever going to bereallymine, in any sense beyond a signed piece of paperwork.
The moment where it really feels like we’ve become one.
And then he pulls out of me, as always, letting my bikini slide into place as he steps back and fixes himself, turning to leave without a word or a glance in my direction. I’m left there, facedown on the lounge chair, as I feel his cum trickle down my thighs, and I suddenly feel so empty and sad that it feels as if a hole has been punched through my chest.
My phone vibrates, and I glance down at it, almost laughing at the irony as I see who the message is from.
It’s Niall.Can I see you tonight? Need to talk after last time. Please.
My heart doesn’t leap like it usually does. I don’t feel like the gaping wound Connor left has been in any way salved. I don’t feel like this can be fixed by someone else anymore.