“I couldn’t go to you in front of everyone.” I look up at him, feeling weak-kneed and liquid from the kiss. “And then Connor and I left the country for a few days—”
“I heard. Romantic weekend in Japan.”
“How did you know?” I feel a flutter of guilt, which makes no sense at all. There’s no reason for me to feel guilty for going away with my husband and not texting the man who might one day be my lover. But seeing the look in Niall’s eyes, all I can think is that I’ve inadvertently hurt him.
“I hear things,” Niall says offhandedly, but I can hear the tension in his voice. “Saoirse, what I said when we were trapped in the warehouse—”
“We don’t need to talk about it right now,” I say hurriedly. I’m not in any position or frame of mind to decide how I feel or what to say about Niall being in love with me. I feel a burst of panic at the idea of being backed into a corner about it right now. “Niall, we need distance at the moment.Ineed some distance. Connor and I are trying to get pregnant. What happens if you and I meet up like this at some point, and we let it go too far? What if we lose control and don’t stop? It’s important that there’s no chance that my baby could be anyone’s but Connor’s.”
Niall’s jaw clenches, and I can see him struggling to decide what to say as he sucks in a breath. “I hate the thought of you with him,” he says quietly. “I hate the thought of you carrying his baby. I hate every moment that I imagine he’s touching you, kissing you, having you. Every moment that you could be mine.” He sucks in a breath, his hands still pinning me to the door, the heat of his hard body so close to me that it makes my heart race. “But if I can have you in the end—it’s worth it. If you can give him what he wants, and then come to me.” He lets go of one arm, his other hand dropping to my hip as he runs his hand through his hair. “But goddamn it, if it isn’t taking a long time, Saoirse.”
I prickle at that. “Well, I’m sorry I’m not getting knocked up with Connor’s baby fast enough for you,” I hiss. “Trust me, I’m trying.”
Niall’s face darkens. “Maybe you need some help,” he says, and his voice is teasing, but there’s something heated and lustful under the words, and he grips my waist in both his hands, tightening possessively.
And then, as I look up at him without knowing what to say, his mouth comes crashing down on mine again, and every thought flees.
11
CONNOR
“Next week, one way or another, I’ll be taking possession of the McGregor estate.”
I look around my gathered men, as well as Luca and Viktor. Graham isn’t in attendance, still recovering from smoke inhalation, and I’m fine with it. I have enough to deal with without concerning myself with his maneuvering. “That will be the next step towards reclaiming the seat.”
“And Liam is willing to leave?” Jacob frowns.
I snort. “No. Not that I know of. But hewillleave, of his own volition or because we remove him. I’m sure you’re all up to that task?”
Jacob and Quint nod their assent. Viktor says nothing, and I see Luca frown, but he doesn’t object either. Everyone still seems rattled from the fire—we’re meeting in the basement of one of the O’Sullivan rented properties, and it chafes at me. The warehouse was my space, chosen by me, and now it’s been taken away—possibly by someone who wants me dead, or Liam, or both of us.
“What about the fire?” Charlie interjects. “Any leads on that? We examined the outside of the building and didn’t see any noticeable signs of arson, but that doesn’t mean—”
“We’ll keep investigating,” Jacob says, seeing the expression on my face. “As well as the missing guns.”
I nod. “While I was in Japan,” I continue, when the table has gone quiet for a moment, “I visited the Nakamura house.”
Luca and Viktor both look at me sharply. “Nobura Nakamura?” Viktor asks.
“Is there another one?” I raise an eyebrow wryly. “I met with him and his son. I’d hoped to bring them into the fold of our alliance. Interestingly enough, I found that your right hand visited him with Liam, Maximilian, and Viktor.” I narrow my eyes at him. “That might have been information I should have known.”
“All of that was before any alliance,” Viktor says stiffly. “And to be frank, I didn’t think we were considering making an alliance with the Yakuza. They’re notoriously violent and isolationist.Thatmight have been something worth bringing tous.”
“Not every decision needs to be brought to a vote,” I return sharply. “This isn’t a democracy.”
“No, butweare your allies. Allies that you need, I’ll remind you, if you intend to achieve your goal.”
“Be that as it may.” My tone turns impatient. “It doesn’t matter. Nobura declined any alliance. But both he and his son were insistent on suggesting that I ought to make peace with Liam rather than ousting him. That we should rule the Kings together, rather than one or the other. They spoke about it at some length, even hinted that an alliance between our families and the Yakuza would be more likely if Liam and I chose to share power.”
Viktor frowns. “I don’t see how that’s possible,” he says flatly. “Two leaders would strain the power structure of the organization. One of you would have to have more authority than the other, or nothing would ever get done. I’m against it for a number of reasons—”
“And I’m for it.” Luca interrupts abruptly. “I didn’t think I’d see the day when I supported an idea of Nobura Nakamura’s, but I agree. Rather than keeping on with this civil war that could turn bloody sooner rather than later, especially if you throw them out of the estate, you and Liam could delegate power according to your strengths. You could share leadership as brothers, rather than as enemies.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Viktor snaps. “It will only fracture things more as time goes on. And what about heirs? Who decides whose children will inherit? The old ways of inheritance and power are best—”
“Enough!” I shake my head. “I’m not considering it. I just wanted to relay the discussion that was had. That’s all there is to it.” I pause, looking around the gathered men. “Later this month, there’s a major meeting of the Kings. We’ll stage our takeover then when they’re not expecting it. No more discussions, no more parleys. This has gone on long enough. Saoirse and I will move into the estate next week, and then the next step is the table. Liam will leave Boston, or else. That’s the end of it.”
Even as I say the words aloud, though, I have trouble speaking with the certainty I had before. I haven’t gotten the story of Haru Nakamura out of my head, or the possibility of peace with Liam. Every time I consider Nobura and Kaito’s words, I remember that day in the warehouse and Liam and I escaping together. I remember the way he’d looked at me when we’d gotten off the concrete, that flicker of hope in his eyes, and how I’d crushed it.