I’d fought it, but it feels good to let go. I’ve been wound tight since returning to Boston, tighter still since the fire and my narrow escape from death. I know it won’t change anything in the end. It doesn’t change the deal we struck. But it feels really fucking good to let myself drop all of it, just for a little while—and justfeel.
I lose myself in the kiss, telling myself I deserve it. I deserve the pleasure, the escape, just for a little while.
---
After a dinner of sushi so fresh I’m pretty sure it was caught today, wagyu beef and too much sake, Saoirse and I fall into bed. We’re both out before we can fuck again, but if I’m being honest, I’m not sure if I could have managed another round anyway. Even with the alcohol, my body still aches like I’ve been run over by a stampede.
When I wake, though, I can’t resist her. I’d made a pact with myself last night to enjoy it. So while the me of before would have found some way to make Saoirse feel bad for the fact that I want her, I opt to wake her up with my tongue instead, sliding under the covers to wake her slowly as I lick her clit, fingering her so that she only comes fully awake when the orgasm leaves her gasping and moaning, unsure if she’s dreaming or not. The taste of her on my tongue has me rock-hard. I slide up her body while she’s still clenching and fluttering with pleasure, kissing her neck as I slide my cock into her and savor the feeling of her tightening around me.
“Good morning,” I murmur, nipping her earlobe before moving to her lips. Saoirse moans contentedly, wrapping her legs around my hips and arching into my thrusts.
“Good morning.”
She doesn’t say anything about how out of the ordinary this is. It’s far from the first time we’ve had morning sex. Still, I’ve made a point of ensuring she knew those times weren’t about romance, but about getting myself off and making sure my cum ended up in the most useful place it could be. The fact that she always comes, no matter what, was a bonus for her.
She’s playing along, just like I am. Losing herself in the fantasy that this is normal for us, for me to wake her up lovingly with orgasms and sweet, slow sex. I should resent all this playacting, but the fact is that I’m enjoying it as much as she is. Agreeing to temporarily set my resentment and suspicion aside and simply enjoy my wife has shown me, even in this brief time, how much about her there really is to appreciate and enjoy.
Don’t get too distracted,I remind myself, even as I feel her shudder and flutter around me with her second orgasm, my fingers sliding over her clit just the way I know she likes. I’ve learned her body very well since our wedding. More so than I’d planned to, but Saoirse is so eager, so responsive that it’s impossible for me to fight the urge to learn how to exploit that, to reduce her to her basest need for pleasure every time.
We might have agreed to let our defenses down for this trip, but the purpose is still to get her pregnant and go back to the status quo once we’re home again.
I thrust into her, groaning at the wet, hot sensation of her pussy squeezing me, and come hard. Saoirse moans as she feels me filling her, and I linger, rocking against her until every last pulse of my cock is finished.
“I assume you have the day planned for us?” I ask wryly as I roll away from her, the sheets pooling around our hips. Saoirse doesn’t make a move to cover up, the sunlight glinting through the window and over her perfect breasts, and I have the urge to touch them. But if I do, she’ll moan, and then I won’t be able to resist biting and sucking on her nipples, and before long, I’ll be hard again and inside of her. We’ll never get out of bed.
Would that be so bad?My cock twitches at the thought, but I ignore it. When she’d gotten me to agree to her little game, Saoirse had made a point of saying that she wanted to do things other than just fuck while we were here. I intend to let her go ahead with that plan if only so she can see that our relationship is based on sex and nothing more—something that ebbs in time. She’ll see that the romantic idea of going on dates and spending time with me that she has in her head isn’t based on reality.
We’re very well suited to each other.
I wish I hadn’t said that last night. I’d been seduced by the beauty of our surroundings and the heady pleasure of Saoirse, and I’d let words slip that I shouldn’t. I wish I could take them back. But all I can do is let her play this out and be convinced that’s wrong.
Then we can go back tomyway of doing things.
“Yes,” Saoirse says, her voice soft with pleasure. Shelookssoftened like this, flushed and happy, her voice musical and accented instead of sharp and angry. When all her defenses are down, Saoirse is a different woman altogether.
It makes me want more of her like this, despite myself.
“After breakfast, we have private massages,” she says, rolling towards me and pillowing her hands under her cheek. “And then—I thought we could go for a hike in the national park and into Tokyo for dinner. Maybe walk around the city. And then come back here—” she raises her eyebrows suggestively. It’s all I can do not to roll her onto her back and kiss her until all thoughts of plans for the day fly out of her head, and we stay here indefinitely.
“I suppose we should get up, then.” I roll out of bed, and I don’t fail to notice the way Saoirse’s eyes follow me as I walk across the room. “Call up for breakfast?”
“I can do that.” She rolls onto her stomach, reaching for the phone, and the sheet slides down enough for me to catch a glimpse of the rounded top curve of her ass.
It reminds me of the onsen last night, and my cock twitches as I reach for my clothes.
Breakfast is light, Japanese soufflé pancakes and tea, with fresh fruit. Saoirse is seated on a cushion on the other side of the table from me, and she looks up at me as she dips her fork into the fluffy pancake.
“I like this,” she says softly. “Traveling, seeing new places. I never left the States until I came to London with my father to find you, did you know that?”
I think she knows the answer, but I shake my head anyway. “No, I didn’t know.”
“Have you traveled a lot? After you left Boston, I mean.”
I nod, stabbing a piece of fruit and chewing it slowly. “Once I set up the gang in London, I traveled a fair bit. Travel in Europe is easy, you know. Everything’s fairly close together—hop on a train and go. I spent time in Ireland and Scotland, of course, and saw Iceland, Spain, and a bit of France. Not a lot of money for traveling then, but I did it the old-fashioned way. A backpack and my motorcycle and hostels, or a cheap train ride.” I pause, glancing at her. “A bit different from a private jet and exclusive resort.”
Saoirse reddens a little, and I can tell I’ve struck a nerve. “I’m not as spoiled as you think,” she says softly, but there’s an edge to her voice. “I’ve lived the way I have because everything has always been planned for me. I’ve never been on a vacation that I planned for myself until this weekend. And yes—this is all very VIP, but it’s our sort-of honeymoon, and—”
For the first time, I find myself wanting to comfort her. I reach out, touching her hand gently. “Saoirse. I didn’t mean it the way you think. I just meant what I said—that it’s different from what you’ve experienced. I don’t know if you’d like that kind of travel or not, but I wasn’t assuming that you wouldn’t. I just—don’t know.”There’s a lot of things I don’t know about you,I very nearly say, but I bite the words back. I don’t want to suggest to her that I mightwantto know. I don’t want to get closer. But she keeps drawing me in.