CHAPTER20
Iwas underwater; why am I underwater again? I can't remember; I just somehow knew this was better than the other. Somehow I was breathing quite. Naturally, there was no angst, no fear; it was safe here, safer than out there. Out there where? Panic, no come back, stay under the water, out there was darkness, out there was pain and fear. The water keeps me safe and hidden. My heart is whole again; there's no more tearing, no more bottomless ache. I snuggled deeper into the abyss, at peace at last.
Wait, was that a dog? Dogs shouldn't be underwater. It wasn't safe.
"REX..."
She woke up screaming for the fucking dog. At least she woke the fuck up. It seemed like forever since I'd been sitting here.
I gave my boy a good rub down and a doggie treat; he'd done his job. I might look into buying him his own fucking pet store; now for my girl.
She opened those big brown orbs of hers, but instead of their usual beautiful light, they were bloodshot and sad. She was looking around, kind of loss, which was to be expected since she didn't know where the fuck she was.
I eased up out of my chair and went to her, I wasn't sure how she was going to react to seeing me, but I was just thankful as fuck that she was awake; she had me worried there for a minute.
"Gage?"
"I'm right here." I walked around so she could see me since her face was turned to the wall.
"Gage?"
"Ssssh, it's okay. I'm here." I hugged her lightly as I wiped her tears, her body was shaking really hard, and I knew what that meant, panic attack. She grabbed on to me so tight I could feel the bones in her chest.
"Don't leave me, please don't leave me."
I fought my own tears as I tried to soothe her.
"I won't, I promise."
Home, that's what the fuck I felt in her arms, holding her again when I thought this would never happen when I had thought it was fucking impossible. I guess watching the woman you love almost die went a long way to abating anger.
She was my baby, my butterfly, and after I straightened her shit out, I would work on forgiving. What? You didn't think I was gonna be a sucker, did you? It takes two to tango; the fact still remains that she was in that car. Fuck, would I ever go a day without that shit fucking with my head? Focus dickhead, alrighty then.
"Here, drink some water." I held the little plastic straw up to her lips, or at least I tried to, but she was holding on so tight it was hard to maneuver.
I sat on the bed and drew her into my lap; Rex was happy as fuck; he could give a shit what was going on, his two humans were together in the same place for the first time in way too long in his short life, and he was ready to play. Spoilt fuck. I'm kidding. That's my boy. He'd got his mother to wake up, hadn't he?
I finally got some water in her between her sniffles and shakes. When I thought she'd had enough, I laid back against the bed with her still cradled in my arms. It felt so fucking good to have her there again, damn.
I played with her hair while she drifted off again. I probably should have let dad know she had woken up, but I wasn't leaving her. Never again.