“No, I don’t think so,” Jax stated vacantly, then scrunched her eyes closed and shook her head. “I did bump my belly at work today, but I didn’t think it was hard enough to worry about. Would that have caused bleeding?”
My heart sank and J’s name whispered from my mouth. When her worry-stricken gaze cut to me, I felt, as well assaw,her devastation.
“I honestly couldn’t tell you, hon,” Lil advised. “Bleeding can happen for a number of reasons. One, of which I’m sure you’re already aware of, can be an indication of miscarriage.”
Tears streamed silently down J’s cheeks and I bit a hole on the inside of mine as I locked the welling emotions down as far as they would go. I had to remain strong for her, but it was so fucking hard. I wanted to drop to my knees and beg for our unborn child’s life, then gather Jax in my arms and kiss away her tears.
Lil continued. “Other reasons include the gestation; sometimes women can have a light bleed around the eight-to-nine-week mark which is when normal menstruation would have taken place, or there is a small percentage of women who continue to menstruate throughout their pregnancy and go on to have a healthy, full-term baby. We won’t know more until the doctor performs an ultrasound. Do you have any questions so far?”
She looked at me when Jax indicated no, and I also shook my head.
“I’ll be back in a minute to take a blood sample. Try not to overthink the outcome until we have more information, okay?”
J nodded as the nurse jotted down her blood pressure, then, with a final reassuring smile, she disappeared in a flurry of dark green curtain.
I puffed a breath out. “Holy shit. That was a lot to take in… Sweetheart?”
She looked up at me through her tears. The despair in her eyes tore a deep, jagged hole through the centre of my chest.
I kissed her and gripped her hand. “No matter what happens tonight, I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you whether it’s the three of us, or…” I paused to swallow around the tight lump in my throat and barely managed to whisper, “…or the two of us.”
Her face crumbled into grief again. Leaning over the bed, I gathered her into my arms and held her tightly until Nurse Lil came back. Even then, Jax only moved an arm to the side to give her access to her vein. J’s other arm remained locked around my torso.
Lil worked without a word and brought a sense of calm to the surrounding space. She announced her departure and told us the doctor would be in soon.
A few minutes passed before a woman wheeling a portable machine pushed through the curtain.
“Jacquelyn Carmichael?” the woman asked.
“It’s Jax, and yes.”
She smiled, though it did nothing to reassure my inner turmoil. “I’m Doctor Jess Westbrook. I’m here to perform an ultrasound on you. I understand you are almost nine weeks pregnant?”
“Yes, eight point six weeks,” Jax confirmed.
“And you’re her fiancé?” Doctor Westbrook asked, looking my way.
“Jace,” I supplied.
She nodded kindly, then touched J’s hand. “Jax, are you okay if Jace stays with you, or would you like him to wait outside?”
Um, what the hell?
“Wait outside,” Jax said with conviction at the same time I barked, “Stay.”
Sure, we weren’t ‘together’, but what was the harm in letting me stay in the room?
“Jax. I’d really like to stay.” I kept my tone gentle but made it clear I was gonna stay put. I steeled myself against the inevitable: her argument.
She studied my face for a long moment, flicking her eyes back and forth between mine. “Fine. You can stay.”
Dragging the visitor chair closer to the bed, I grabbed her hand and linked our fingers. Her hand seemed so delicate in my big, work-hardened one.
Doctor Westbrook started the machine while instructing Jax to remove all the clothing from her waist down—including underwear—then left the cubicle. Jax began to lift the blanket but paused.
“What?” I demanded when she gave me a blank look.
“You’re not watching me strip. Turn around.”