“I’ll get them. Where are they?”
“They’re in my diaper bag in the closet.”
I settled him into the warm bath and told him to stay put while I returned to his bedroom. God, what a stench. The floor would need a solid scrubbing. Penance for my perversion. What would Judd think if he knew what I’d just done? If anyone knew? The board would fire me for sure. I found the diaper bag in his closet and unzipped it. The sweet scent of baby powder wafted in my nose. He had all sorts of things: rattles, bottles, a blankie, and the plastic squeak toys of various animals. I unpacked a diaper and his blanket.
When I returned to the bathroom, Ari sat waiting for me. His eyes lit up when he saw the toys. I climbed into the tub behind him and pulled him backward to sit between my legs. He ignored me, his attention solely on the toys. I didn’t mind and washed his hair and cleaned him up. He was squealing and chortling, the sound bringing me such happiness I gathered him to my chest and held him.
“Daddy,” he protested.
“Shh, let me hold you.”
He stopped struggling and sagged against me. We sat there until the water cooled, and he complained he was getting wrinkled all over.
“All right, let’s wash you off and get out.” I rose, lifting him to his feet, and we abandoned the tub for the shower. I scrubbed his body. He was so small and adorable. Oh. My. God. He hadn’t just wormed himself into my life and exposed parts of me I didn't know existed. I’d gone and fallen head over heels in love with this boy. And I liked making him filthy so I could clean him up again.
“Daddy, are you okay?” Ari peered up at me from behind his wet hair.
I forced a smile. “Everything is fine. Now let’s get you dressed and give you some little time. Would you like that?”
“You’ll play with me?” he asked in a small voice.
“Yes, just tell me what to do.” I turned off the faucet and guided him out of the tub. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his body, indicating for him to sit while I used another to rub his hair.
“You’ve been driving me crazy over the past couple of days,” I told him.
“Huh?”
“Yeah, with all the cleaning and dusting you’ve been doing, but I thought it was a good distraction from other things.” Like going after Judd and taking the man’s life.
Rich and Judd were two different men, though. Rich had been a spineless coward who preyed on those who were physically weaker. Judd was an asshole who could crush Ari.
“I didn’t want to say anything. Just wait it out until you get it out of your system, but by god, Ari, you started talking about painting and then being a mouthy brat. I should have realized before that all you needed was some little time. I’ll do better, okay?”
He nodded. “Okay, and I’ll try not to be such a brat next time.”
I chuckled, kissing his hair, which smelled clean and sweet of honeysuckle. “About what happened after, Ari. I—”
“Loved it,” he finished quickly. “I was so turned on by it.”
My hands in his hair stilled. I tugged his head back so I could see his face and look into his eyes. He’d better not lie to me.
“Have you ever let anyone else do that to you?”
“No, just you.”
I nodded. “Good. Nobody else does that to you, understand?”
He rolled his eyes but then stopped. “Yes, Daddy. I’ll be good.”
“I know you will because you're Daddy's little angel.”
I carried him to my bedroom and placed him on the bed, next to the diaper. His face flushed.
“You’re still on punishment,” I said. “I told you I didn’t want to hear another word about Nathan. So you don’t get to use the toilet at all tonight. You’ll have to wear your diaper.”
“And use it?” His voice was breathless and tiny with excitement.
“What’s the sense of a diaper if you’re not going to use it?”