“No, he didn’t. I’m sorry you had to lose another friend.”
“Maybe I should be alone. Then I can’t hurt anyone else. I can’t hurt you.”
“Hey.” I placed my chin on top of his head. “You need to get that thought out of your head right now because you weaseled your way into my life, and now I need you in it. My life won’t be the same without you, Ari.”
“But it will be better.”
“Never, my love.” I kissed his temple. “And all this is moot anyway. As if I could ever let you go.”
“You should.”
“But I won’t.”
He sighed and shifted in my arms to face me. He ran a hand along my stubbled cheek. I hadn’t bothered to shave.
“You deserve so much better, Shaw Wheeler.”
“Then we agree that I deserve what I want, and what I want is you.”
I dipped my head to kiss him, but he turned his face. “I have something else to tell you.”
“Is it necessary?”
“I want you to know everything. The whole truth. And if you still want me…”
“I’ll always want you.”
“I killed Murray.”
Of all the things I’d expected Ari to say, that sure as hell wasn’t it. “That’s impossible. He died long before you came back.”
“It’s the truth.”
Which meant…
“You were here before?”
“Yeah, I was here a few times. Mostly in the night. I would sneak in and watch you sleep on and off for almost a year before I showed up in your kitchen that day.”
“And you never let me know?”
He plucked at my shirt. “Aren’t you mad about Murray?”
“I am shocked you were behind it, but I won’t pretend like there was any love lost between us. He was a horrible man, and this is in the past, but no more, Ari. No more killing.”
“I know. I don’t want to lose you any more than you want to lose me.”
“Good.”
Ari closed his eyes and placed his head on my chest. “I don’t know if I can stay here. Too many memories.”
I rubbed his back gently. “Maybe we don’t need to stay.”
“But your job is here.”
“I can get a job somewhere else. In fact, I’ve sent out a few applications and got a response for an interview. It’s in Florida, but—”
“Florida? That sounds great. We could go to the beach.”
“Make love on the beach.” I tickled his spine, and he smiled. It wasn’t as wide as his usual smiles, but it was a start.
“Yes, please.”
“But first the interviews. I was thinking we could drive there and spend a week. Then we can decide what we want to do. We both deserve some time away just to be with each other without all the distractions.”
“I’d like that. Very much.”
“Come on, then. You still have your pills to take, and then we can figure out our trip together.”