I prayed the conversation would be over when she went silent. My prayer was not answered.
“What would chafe them? Doesn't chafing happen when something rubs against you?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“So what would rub the inside of my vagina? Oh, wait, I know. A penis.”
“Yes, a penis, or anything else that might go in there.” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I knew that comment would bring more questions.
“What else can go in there, Dad?”
“Um, well,.... Honey, did you ever hear the word 'masturbation'?”
“Isn't that what a guy does when he plays with his penis?”
“Yes.”
“Why do they do that?”
“Because it feels good.”
“Do you do it?” she asked.
I knew having such an honest relationship with my daughter would backfire sooner or later. “Yes, honey, I do sometimes.”
“How do you play with play it?”
“I sort of stroke it and rub it with my hand.”
“Does it feel good?” she asked.
“Well, yeah. Otherwise I wouldn't do it.”
“Do you get an erection? I've seen drawings of that in class.”
“Um, yes,... yes I do.”
“Do you ejaculate?” my daughter asked.
“Yes.”
“Will you show me how you do it?”
“Jamie! Honey! No, I can't do that!” I nearly shouted.
“Why not?”
“Because it's a very private thing!”
“Going to the bathroom is private, and we've done that in front of each other.”
“That's different. Sometimes you're in the tub and I need to use the toilet, or I'm shaving and you need to pee. We only have one bathroom, and we're family, so we just do it.”
“Yes, and so you've seen my vagina and I've seen your penis . So why won't you show me how you play with it?”
“Because it's sexual, and that would be bad.”
“But Dad, you told me sex was a beautiful thing.”