Whenever a new Jillian Ashley was released, Sally and Lisa always read it together, calling or texting each other along the journey with comments about the book.
“Oh my god! That last sex scene!” Lisa exclaimed.
“I know, right!” Sally agreed. “Like, thanks for making me need to change my underwear, Jillian!”
Both women broke into fits of laughter. Lisa and her had known each other since the fifth-grade and had been best friends ever since, that’s why she felt fine admitting how aroused she had gotten reading the book’s final hot passages.
“And I know Jillian always delivers with the happy endings,” Lisa said, “but fuck she had me thinking they were really going to break up.”
“She’s so good at that!” Sally added. “But she also knows if she doesn’t give us an HEA, her fans will hunt her down and slay her.”
“God, I can’t believe she lives in Oceanside,” Lisa said after a moment. “Like, literally, the next town over.”
“I know! Like, can we stalk her somehow?”
“Probably if we knew her real name,” Lisa mused. “But you just know that Jillian Ashley is a pen name. I mean, it totally sounds made up.”
“Totally,” Sally agreed.
“Unless…”
“Unless what?”
“Unless her name really is Jillian Ashley and she knows how made up that sounds and so she just assumes people will think it’s a pen name and so would never bother trying to look for her under her real name which sounds like a pen name.”
That made sense to Sally.
“Yes, it’s genius!”
“So, how do we find out, like, where she lives and where she hangs out?”
Sally laughed.
“Wow! You want to do, like, real stalking!”
“Not creeper stalking! Just, you know, accidentally bump into her at her favorite coffeeshop or something. We can systematically visit each and every café in Oceanside! How many can there be?”
“Stand in line behind her at Starbucks,” Sally suggested, picking up the thread, “and when she gives her name to the cashier, say something like, ‘Oh my God, what a coincidence! Our favorite writer is named Jillian! Jillian Ashley!’”
“Right! And then she’ll say, ‘But I’m Jillian Ashley.’”
“Right! And then we’ll say, ‘No way! Oh my God, we’re huge fans!’”
“Right! And then she’ll say, ‘Thank you! That means so much! And you two are super cute!”
“Right! And then we’ll all sit and have our coffees together and then end up back at her place for a threesome!”
“Exactly!” Lisa exclaimed. “I mean, I’d rather just have her to myself but you’re my BFF, so I can share.”
The two of them broke into fits of laughter again.
“So, what kind of coffee do you think Jillian orders?” Lisa asked.
Sally thought a moment.
“Hmm…I think she’s a caramel latte girl,” she decided.
“I get the caramel,” Lisa said, “but I think she’s a mocha chick. Like with whipped cream with the caramel drizzled on top.”