Rachel took a moment to consider that.
“I honestly don’t know,” she replied. “I think I was able to spot it so easily because I was the new girl in the group, you know?”
Krissy nodded. That made sense.
“How long have you been feeling this way?” Rachel went on.
“Seems like forever,” Krissy said. “I’ve always had a thing for her, to be honest. But, it started getting really bad around last Christmas. All of a sudden, back then, she wasn’t just Becca, my best friend; she was Becca, the woman I want.”
“Certainly you were always attracted to her, though, right?” Rachel asked. “Even when you became friends? I mean, she’s gorgeous.”
“Yeah, of course, but you know how it is. You meet someone who you’re attracted to but then nothing but a friendship develops and so you’re like, ‘Okay, I’m just going to be friends with this person.’ And you manage to just enjoy the friendship. And I was doing fine with that! Until, like I said, suddenly that was no longer enough.”
Rachel nodded.
“I don’t think I could have ever been just friends with Ainsley, though,” she said. “It would have drove me up the wall.”
“Well, it wasn’t easy for me, either,” Krissy said. “There were times over the past four years when I would look at Becca and just want to die at how much I wanted her.”
“Aww…” Rachel said, placing her hand on Krissy’s arm. “But hold on; you’re not talking about just some casual hook-up, right?”
My reputation precedes me again…
Krissy shook her head.
“No, I swear,” she assured Rachel. She took a moment to compose her thoughts. “I just woke up one morning next to her and—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Rachel interrupted, making back-pedaling motions with her hands. “Back up. Clarify the waking up next to her part, please.”
“It’s nothing, Rach, trust me. Just girlfriends sharing a bed.”
“Gotcha.”
“Anyway, one morning I woke up next to her and realized I’m happiest when I’m with this woman sleeping next to me. Even without the sex.”
“Aww, that is too sweet!” Rachel gushed. “Do you think she feels the same?”
Again, Krissy had to take a moment.
She really wanted to believe that was true. Over the past several weeks, if not longer, something had changed between her and Becca. There was now a different kind of energy in their interactions. It was a combination of “the feels” and “Holy Jesus, please rip my clothes off and fuck me!”
Krissy didn’t feel up to trying to explain all that to Rachel and so she simply admitted that she didn’t know if Becca was also feeling what she was feeling. However, maybe Rachel…
“Do you think she feels the same?” Krissy asked her friend.
Her brow furrowed, Rachel considered the question.
“Sorry, but it’s hard to say,” she eventually admitted. “Becca is more inscrutable than the other women we hang out with, you know? Sometimes, it’s hard to get a read on her.”
That made sense. There was private Becca and public Becca. Public Becca was very, very careful about what she revealed to others who may be around—even her close-knit group of friends.
“Anyway, I hope it all works out for you,” Rachel said. “I know this is a tricky situation because you and her are such good friends.”
Krissy nodded.
“Do you think it’s ever too late for two friends to become more than that?” she asked.
“You mean, would it feel like kissing your sister?” Rachel replied with a grin.