As true as that was, Ainsley considered silently, she knew that she was having trouble not viewing this thing with Rachel as anything but having found a new girlfriend. And the reason why was simple: She wanted Rachel to be her girlfriend. Had she ever felt this connected and spiritually in sync with another woman? Even just watching Hulu shows with Rachel or cooking with her like they did last night after having sex felt so right.
Trying to sound nonchalant, Ainsley added, “Look, if Rach decides she’s just full-blown straight then we’ll simply continue as friends.”
“Aargh!” Charlotte moaned. “But then it will be all super awkward between you two! And she’s the best volleyball player we’ve ever had!”
Ainsley’s mouth dropped open.
“Is that all you care about?” she asked.
“Ains, you’ve seen her play! She’s amazing! And because she’s so amazing, the rest of us try harder! And now you’re risking fucking that up!”
“Oh, for god’s sake!”
“No, seriously! Of all the confused women out there, why couldn’t you pick an uncoordinated and klutzy one and leave Rachel alone?”
Ainsley tossed a French fry at her.
They ate in silence for a few bites and then Charlotte asked, “So, honestly…if Rachel really decides that playing for our team—I’m talking the lesbian team now—isn’t for her, will you be okay with that? Because…”
“Because what?” Ainsley asked.
Charlotte shrugged.
“I’ve seen the way you look at her,” she answered. “This isn’t just about sex for you. You’re smitten.”
Ainsley couldn’t deny that and Charlotte would call her out on it if she did.
“Fine, I am,” she said, picking up a French fry from her plate and snapping it in half with her teeth. “She’s incredible and I’d like to explore a deeper relationship with her.” She popped the remainder of the fry into her mouth.
“Provided she never yearns for the almighty penis again,” Charlotte quipped.
Ainsley made a face. She was a doctor and she had examined and/or operated on many a nude male. But the idea of sexual intimacy with a guy…it always sent a shudder down her spine.
“Anyway,” Charlotte went on, growing excited, “what’s she like in bed? The last time I had a virgin was when I was a virgin.” She made a face. “Is she awful?”
Ainsley laughed, hoping the laughter was distracting enough to not make Charlotte notice that she crossed her legs under the table. The mere mention of Rachel and sex was enough to cause flutters of excitement, especially when Ainsley remembered all that they had gotten up to last night.
Lowering her voice to a whisper, Ainsley said, “She’s fucking amazing, Char.”
Charlotte waggled her eyebrows.
“Go on!”
“I mean, there are times you can tell that she’s in unfamiliar territory, fine; but there aren’t a lot of those times.”
“Go on! Go on!” Charlotte seemed to be buzzing with anticipation.
Ainsley blushed. She wasn’t going to go into descriptive detail but she also wasn’t going to cheat her best friend out of some juicy intelligence.
“Let’s just say Rachel definitely knows what it takes to please a woman,” Ainsley said. “And if she sticks with it and learns a few more things, I might start finding it hard to come into work each day.”
“Ooh! Nice!”
Ainsley remembered something and chuckled.
“So, I told her, obviously, how much I enjoy what she does to me, and she told me she learned everything she knows from reading the Jillian Ashley books.”
Charlotte laughed.