Rachel did that thing Ainsley loved. That thing where she sat back in her seat, crossed her arms and cocked her eyebrow at Ainsley.
Ainsley wanted to pant like a dog.
“You’re just afraid,” Rachel began, “of finding out that I’m right.”
Ainsley scoffed.
“That is so not the reason!” she declared. “God, I can’t believe that in a few days I’m about to spend my Valentine’s Day with a woman who thinks Squidward is funnier than Spongebob!”
“Because he is!” Rachel exclaimed, laughing.
“Squidward is mean!”
“That’s what makes him hilarious!”
Again Ainsley rolled her eyes.
“You just think that because you’re from the east coast. East coast people are cynical and sarcastic and so Squidward-y!”
“And you’re in love with Spongebob because you’re from SoCal where the sun shines six-hundred days a year! So of course you like his bubbly personality and the way he sings tra-la-la every time he walks down the street.”
Their server returned to check on them.
“Two more of the same,” Rachel told him. “Also, who is funnier: Squidward or Spongebob?”
“Squidward,” the guy said without a moment’s pause.
“Wait, wait, wait!” Ainsley cut in. “Where are you from?”
“Jersey,” he answered and then left to get their new drinks.
With a self-satisfied grin on her face, Ainsley looked at Rachel.
“Told you!” she said.
“All that proves is Jersey people also have good taste in cartoon characters,” Rachel retorted.
Their server from New Jersey returned very quickly but without their drinks.
“So, those guys over th
ere,” he said, pointing to a table at the far end of the outdoor patio where two guys in swim shorts and tank tops were sitting, “want to know if they can buy this round of drinks for you two.”
Ainsley looked at Rachel with an amused look. She also wanted to gauge whether or not Rachel was maybe attracted to at least one of the guys. Who was she to stand in the way of a possible romance, after all?
But Rachel gave Ainsley a micro-shake of her head, the kind that was so miniscule that only another woman would have picked it up. Ainsley turned back to their server.
“Would you tell them thanks but that we already have boyfriends, please?”
Jersey shrugged and went off to deliver the message.
Laughing, Rachel asked, “Boyfriends? Is that what you tell gay women you’re not interested in when they hit on you? That you have a boyfriend?”
“No. I only use ‘boyfriend’ when it’s a guy hitting on me because if you say you’re a lesbian, most men will then persist with something like…” And Ainsley deepened her voice. “‘Well, how do you know you won’t like being with a man until you’ve tried one?’”
Rachel burst out laughing.
“No!”