improved since I started to
roll my own tampons.”
The lesbro
Wear Livestrong bracelet
and converse solely using
well-known Fight Club quotes.
The straight-looking lesbian
Say literally
anything—she’s thrilled someone
is talking to her.
The LHB (long-haired butch)
Chat her up about
Willie Nelson and/or John
Stamos in Full House.
The too-cool-for-this-bar lesbian
Engage her in a
contest to see who can roll
her eyes the hardest.
The deluded yet hopeful lesbian pursuing only straight girls
“Sexuality
is a spectrum! Let’s defy
taboos with our tongues.”
Your ex-girlfriend
“Snuffles and Meow-Meow
sure do miss you. Why don’t you
come say hi to them?”
Your ex-girlfriend (post second breakup)
Ask her what “closure”
means to her. Then clear schedule
for at least one month.