their spice cabinet.
Fifty Shades of Essay
A lesbian tome
on all that’s wrong with the books.
In Papyrus font.
Fifty Shades of Bombay
In which a woman’s
kink is revealed to be lip-
syncing in saris.
Fifty Shades of Tanqueray
A very drunk gal
tries to seduce a fountain
for seven hours.
Fifty Shades of A.A.
Two sober gals quickly
realize they’re incompatible.
And move on.
Fifty Shades of Okay
Two women meet, and
they both respect each other’s
boundaries. The End.
Fifty Shades of Bray
A lesbian tries
to explain the timeless allure
of Fran Drescher.
Fifty Shades of Sasha Grey
Lesbian admits
she has pubic hair. Her sex
life remains fine, thanks.
Fifty Shades of Buffet