1
Falling for the Girl
I woke to the sound of my phone rattling on the nightstand. I ignored it for a few seconds, then buried my head under my pillow, squeezing the sides trying to muffle the noise. For the last week or so, I'd had more trouble than usual getting my day started. After the girl next door had gone off to college, I felt hopelessly alone and depressed. Even though our affair only lasted a couple of weeks, it had injected an exciting spark into my love life that had been missing for far too long. Now I was all alone again, with only my freelance graphic design job giving me any reason to get out of bed in the morning.
After a few minutes, the phone started buzzing again, and I rolled over to glance at the screen. It was an incoming call from my best friend, Hannah. Normally, she texted me at this time of the day, so it must have been important. I reached over and tapped the speaker button, then flopped back down on the bed.
"Hello?" I said, groggily.
"Are you still not up?" Hannah said. "I'm getting worried about you, girl. You haven't set foot out of your place for over two weeks."
"Welcome to the life of a lonely freelance artist. Sometimes I wonder if it was such a good idea quitting the firm. At least you see some familiar faces every day."
"You haven't been answering my texts lately."
"I've been...busy."
"Sleeping in and feeling sorry for yourself?"
I paused, thinking how best to respond. I hadn't told Hannah about my recent fling with the girl next door.
"Something like that."
"Listen," she said. "I've been thinking. Summer's almost over. We need to get you out of the house and get your circulation pumping again. Me and some of the girls from the office were thinking of taking a camping trip."
"What, to Yosemite again?"
"Even better. Canada. Lilly knows a quiet place way up north that's hardly been touched by human civilization. We can go full-on commando. Portage in by canoe, catch our own fish, go skinny dipping—the whole nine yards. It'll be good for you to get away for a while. Just you and me and four other girls."
The idea of swimming in the nude with people I knew made me feel a bit uncomfortable. I still hadn't come out with Hannah or anyone else about my recent lesbian dalliances.
"Skinny dipping? Won't it be cold up there? That doesn't sound like my idea of relaxing."
"The lakes are small and shallow, not like Lake Michigan. They get super-warm this time of the year. Plus, they're crystal clear and utterly pristine. Lilly says you can actually drink from them. When was the last time you felt comfortable doing that?"
I glanced out my window toward Abby's house and sighed.
"I don't know, Han..."
"Well I'm not letting you off the hook this time," Hannah said. "We've already booked the tickets. We fly into Toronto Wednesday morning, drive a rental car north for a few hours, then arrive back home middle of next week. Your freelance business can survive without your attention for a week."
"What—no laptops? Do they have cell reception up there?"
"No, and no. The only thing you're allowed to pack that has any kind of battery is your vibrator. But we'll be too busy having other kinds of fun to think about sex. Building campfires, roasting marshmallows, running away from bears—"
"Bears?"
"Just kidding. They do have black bears in that neck of the woods, but Lilly says as long as we keep a clean campsite, they'll leave us alone. Are you in?"
I rolled over and pulled my duvet over my shoulders.
"Arghh. I suppose so. As long as I can bring my comforter with me."
"No way," Hannah said. "We have to pack light, just the necessities. We're going to be carrying everything in and out on our back, including the canoes. Three tents, some air mattresses, sleeping bags, and a minimum of provisions. We'll catch everything else we need."
"Fine. As long as I don't have to clean the fish."
Hannah chuckled.
"Lilly's our designated cook. She grew up not far from where we're going. She'll show us how to catch, clean, and cook everything."
Hannah paused for a moment over the line.
"Are you going to be able to drag yourself out of bed at five a.m. this Wednesday to catch the early flight?"
"Go away!" I said, pulling the comforter over my head. "I'll call you later today to finalize the arrangements."
"Atta girl. You're gonna love this. The sky is so clear at night, it practically looks like cream, there are so many stars. It'll be just us girls and the cry of the loon over the still water."
"And bears. Don't forget about the bears."
Early Wednesday morning, Hannah picked me up at my place and we drove to O'Hare airport together. She was excited about the trip, but I was still having second thoughts about going away with so many people I knew. No one yet knew about my recent lesbian experiences—not even Hannah—and I wasn't sure if I'd be able to hide my attraction to six scantily-clad women alone in the wilderness.