She’d never looked at me the way I looked at her. I did whatever I could to keep my thoughts to myself, but every time she went out with someone else, I couldn’t help feeling a little jealous. A little? Okay, probably more than that, but it had become painfully clear over the last several months that whatever interest I had in her, she didn’t have it in me.
But she was a friend, a good friend, and I’d do whatever I could not to change that. Which means no mucking things up.
No complicating things, no matter how tempting it may have been earlier this evening to take her hand in mine or to hug her the way Sue had hugged me.
The only time Taylor and I had any physical contact at all was right before Thanksgiving break. She’d hugged me then, briefly and not as strong as I preferred, but that was it. She may have bumped shoulders with me or elbowed me in the arm whenever she joined me in a game of Halo, but that was as far as things ever went.
Which would’ve been fine if I could keep her out of my head.
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and thought of home. My folks would be up soon with tea brewing and biscuits piled high. There’d be a roaring fire and the smell of pine in the air. It wouldn’t snow, though. It rarely did. Instead, it would rain.
God, I missed England. Sure, it was gloomy at times, but my entire family was back there. If not for the offerings in the states, I never would’ve left.
Being with Taylor makes it better. We weren’t together.
Sh e’s one room away. Close enough to invade my thoughts and
not much else.
Coming here was a bad idea.
Staying back at the dorm wouldn’t have been any better.
The last time Taylor went home, I couldn’t help noticing her absence. Her warm laughter didn’t fill the dorm and our room fell into silence as soon as she walked out the door. It didn’t take long for the smell of her perfume to fade as well, leaving me with an empty room that smelled more like floorboards and bitter cold than anything else.
I’d tried to take my mind off of it by going out with a couple of the other girls on campus, but it wasn’t the same thing. As soon as I got back to the dorm to tell her about my day, her absence hit me all over again.
It made my chest hurt and forced a tight ball into my stomach.
I’d missed her. I’d almost told her as much once she got back. But to risk ruining what we have? I shook my head if only to myself. It was better if I didn’t say anything at all.
Only I wasn’t back at campus, and even with Taylor sleeping one room away, I could still smell her perfume. It wasn’t much but still enough to ease the nerves that had gathered in my stomach.
With my thoughts a world away, I slowly fell into dreaming.
Morning couldn’t come soon enough.
When I woke, sunlight streamed in through the windows. I threw the covers over my head and rolled onto my stomach, shoving my head under the pillow seconds later. It wasn’t enough. It was too damned bright, and I was wide awake.
Growling under my breath, I tossed the covers aside, then crawled out of bed so I could make myself somewhat presentable before breakfast.
I was almost done making the bed when someone knocked on the door.
“Sam, are you up?”
My heart leaped into the back of my throat at the sound of Taylor’s voice. After a breath, and once my heart rate returned to this side of normal, I opened the door to greet her.
“Hey,” I said, wincing when my voice refused to work. “I was just getting ready to head down.”
Taylor gave me an incredulous look as she leaned against the doorframe. “I’m really sorry we had to set you up like this.” She gestured at the room.
I couldn’t tell if the twinge in her voice was for her benefit or my own. I appreciated it either way.
“It’s okay,” I assured her. “As long as it has a bed and a place to put my things, I can’t complain. Besides, this is way better than staying at one of those old bed and breakfasts with the flowery wallpaper and furniture that should’ve been tossed decades ago.”
She laughed at that, then said, “You slept in. I don’t think you’ve ever done that before. You?
??re always up before me.”