“I didn’t say it was, but if you’re this concerned about what may or may not happen, perhaps it’s best if we stop before we reach those choppy waters.”
She was taking the logical approach, same as always.
Problem was, I valued her as a friend as much as anything else, and I knew if we gave up on what we’d become, it would hurt her even more.
The thought of breaking things off left an uneasy feeling in my stomach.
“You see?” she said with a tight smile. “Nothing sounds right. As for me personally, I’d love to see where this goes.
Sure, we don’t know where we’ll be in a few months or even a year from now, but I do know where I am at this very moment, and I’m not ready to leave.”
“The cabin?” I offered her a sheepish grin, but it was forced.
“And this.” She held me tight, then gently lay her head on my shoulder. “Especially this.”
“So what do we do now? Ignore the possibility?” I asked as I sunk in her embrace.
She released a heavy sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. “Yes. And if you really think about it, the possibility of things falling apart is there for any relationship. You have to work at it to hold things together even if it isn’t long-distance.”
“Yeah, but long-distance makes it that much harder,” I said when she pulled away from me again.
“And more rewarding once you’re together again.” Lifting my chin, she gently kissed me on the lips. “Don’t give up on us yet. I know the fears you have and how deep they go, but you have to trust me. Us. Give us a chance before you call things off, okay?”
“But you just said we should stop while we’re ahead,” I reminded her.
“No, I was offering you an out, which you didn’t take. If it makes you that uncomfortable, pull the plug while we’re on good terms. However, if you’re willing to give it a chance, I’m all for it.”
“And which one did you have in mind?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
“I’m all in. I have been since the start, and that’s not going to change anytime soon.”
“Then so am I.” Because I’m not ready to walk away from this. Not even close.
Smiling, she leaned in and kissed me again, harder than before. With her arms wrapped around me, I let my fears go.
Much like her bear, my fear of Sam walking away was outside, somewhere in the woods. It wasn’t inside the cabin with us. It probably wasn’t even close. But knowing it was out there waiting? I shuddered, then closed my eyes as I listened to Sam’s even breaths.
She didn’t pressure me. She didn’t even speak. Instead, she simply held me close and stroked my hair, pushing my fears to the back of my mind. They were still there, of course, only
now, they were buried under Sam’s embrace, her warmth, and her warm smile when I looked at her again.
“I love you,” she said, her voice so low I barely heard her.
This time I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t even think. “I love you too.”
Four words. Four words I’d never said to anyone else outside my family.
And the best part was that I’d meant every single one of them.
“I love you with every part of myself,” I said once my voice decided to work again.
“Thank you.”
“What for?” I asked.
“For trusting me. For bringing me here. For giving it a chance. Not only now, but earlier.”
Again, I looked at the band around my finger, remembering all she’d promised me. “I promise to try my best,” I said as I rubbed the band with my thumb. “I’ll hold on to this for as long as I can.” Because I’m not done with you yet.