Her lip trembled and she quickly turned away, the tears in her voice hard to ignore. “It’s stupid.” She walked away before I could place a hand on her shoulder, standing just out of reach. When she looked at me again, her expression was hard to read. “I feel like a kid by saying this but I don’t want to go.”
She stomped her foot and managed a small smile.
“So you’re going to throw a temper tantrum in my store?” I couldn’t help but laugh, and when she joined in, I breathed a sigh of relief. Taking her hands in mine, I said, “Look, things will be weird for a little while, but we’ll make it work, okay?”
I raised my brows are her, tucking a tendril of hair behind her ear as she leaned into my caress. “Anything worth having isn’t easy.”
She nodded at that. “I have an entire career to prove it.
Sure, I may have accidentally stepped into it, but keeping things going is…” She blew out a breath and left it at that. “I can’t believe how calm you are about all of this. Why aren’t you freaking out?”
“Oh, trust me, I am. There’s tons of chaos happening up in here,” I said, pointing to my head. “To be honest, I’m trying not to lose my mind. I also have the butterflies to prove it.”
“Then you have a better poker face than I do.”
Nodding, I guided her to the front lounge so we could sit on the sofa. For a Wednesday afternoon, the store was really quiet, and for once, I was thankful for the silence. Still, there was no quieting the fears constantly crashing into the back of my mind. I had no idea what her schedule was like once she went on tour, and considering how nervous she’d been the last few days, I didn’t have the heart to ask.
“Are we crazy for doing this?” she asked, her soft voice booming in the otherwise quiet room.
“For trying to make a long distance relationship work, or falling in love at thirty-five?” My cheeks burned under her intense gaze, forcing me to look away a moment later.
Her soft hand on my cheek forced whatever tears I’d been holding back to fall. When she spoke again, her voice was a mere whisper. I had to strain my ears just to hear her.
“A little bit of both,” she said, passing me a small smile when I looked at her again. “I was starting to think I’d never find lo… someone like you.”
Her close admission caused the butterflies in my stomach to grow. “You and me both. Bridget used to say I was married to my work. If I reached fifty without getting married, I was going to get the papers drawn up and everything.”
“Then I guess I got to you just in time,” she teased, pressing her forehead to mine as she held my face in her hand.
“You had some time,” I said, my voice shaking as I met her in a tentative kiss. “But I’m glad you came now. I honestly wasn’t sure what I’d do in another five years.”
“Mid-life crisis?” She offered, the lift of her eyebrows causing my smile to grow. “Can’t say I’ve had one of those just yet, but I’ve been close.”
“You don’t think us being together is—”
“No,” she said, cutting me off. “This isn’t a crisis, and we aren’t a mistake. I dropped those journals off for a reason, and that reason is right here.” She caressed my cheek, catching one of my tears with her thumb. “All these years, I’ve been searching for a reason behind my music and fame. I thought
she might be out there waiting to see me perform. Who knew I’d find her right in my hometown, and in a bookstore no less.”
“It’s always in the last place you expect,” I said, taking her in my arms as we both reclined on the couch. “So, you really think we can make this work?”
“With someone like you?” she asked, brushing my hair from in front of my eyes. “I know we can.”
Cassidy packed up her things and boarded their bus two days later. In that short time, she spent as much of her day with me as she could, which wasn’t much. Between all of the preparations she had to do and her manager breathing down her neck, we were lucky to get an hour to ourselves without something interrupting us.
In the end, I gave up when it came to having a silent moment to ourselves and settled for just being present with her, holding her hand in mine as she sorted through the next few months of her life. Their first stop was two states over, not far but still far enough away for us to test our strength.
I’d offered to go with her and be with her until she went to her second destination, but she asked me to stay behind and watch the shop instead. She explained that by going with her, I’d make it that much harder for either one of us to leave. She wasn’t wrong. Even before I offered to join her, I knew it’d be impossible for me to walk away once everything was said and done.
If not for the fact the store was practically bleeding money, I probably wouldn’t have come back at all. And now, with her gone, the shop needed my attention more than ever.
My heart jumped whenever someone walked through the front doors. Cassidy hadn’t used them in weeks, always parking out back, but I looked anyway. I looked because, against all reason, I hoped she’d come home for good.
It was a selfish thought and one that would likely pass in the coming weeks, but right then, days after her departure, her absence was the only thing I could think about. There was no
music coming from her place in the tower, no one standing at my side as I finished up the inventory for the day, and no hand in mine as I locked up for the night.
Cassidy was gone, and no matter how hard I tried to reassure myself, my eyes burned with tears that refused to fall.