With Bridget excusing herself from our tiny group, the walk gave me the time I needed to clear my head as well as to clear things up with Cassidy. After everything her manager had said to me this morning, I honestly wasn’t sure where we stood. If he made her as uncomfortable as he’d done for me, then I wanted to know ahead of time instead of getting let down the moment she left.
Chapter Fifteen
Bridget bailed as soon as we paid for our meals, giving us both a hug before getting in her car to leave. No doubt she’d call me later to check on how things went, but I hones
tly wasn’t sure what she expected to happen. My mind was too full of worry for me to think of anything else.
So as Cassidy and I walked side by side, I tried to resist the urge to take her hand, hugging my arms around myself instead.
The air outside the restaurant was cold, but not too cold to keep me from walking. The cool air helped, keeping me present in the here and now instead of my thoughts running rampant like they’d done so many times before. Cassidy, on the other hand, was a world away, playing with the end of her shawl as we walked in silence.
“About David,” she said, not looking at me, “you have to understand he’s seen me go through a lot. He doesn’t want me to get hurt.”
I wasn’t so sure about that. “He mentioned how you’ve been sneaking around and that you just use other women until you’re bored, then you walk away.”
Her footsteps faltered, her heels clicking on the sidewalk once she picked up the pace again. “It isn’t like that. He’s just
—”
“Looking out for you. I know.” I took a breath to ease the building tension in my back, clenching my jaw before I said something I might regret. “But what happens when you eventually find someone you really like? Will you keep them at arm’s length as well?”
That wasn’t what she’d done with me, but that was before her manager stuck his nose where it didn’t belong. Cassidy’s love life was her own. I could understand if she threatened to quit her tour, but she’d said no such thing. And so what if she did? It was her life, not his. He was simply riding on her
coattails and would do it to someone else if Cassidy ever decided to step down.
Cassidy looked at me then, the color draining from her face.
“I’m not trying to push you aside.”
“I know you aren’t, but you and I both know this won’t last.
If the distance and time apart don’t break us, his influence on you will.” I was letting my temper get the better of me, but it couldn’t be helped.
“I’ll talk to him,” she said, focusing on the sidewalk in front of us. “He means well, but I guess with me losing my mom, he thinks I’m more vulnerable than usual.”
“Which would totally be understandable if you were hooking up with a random person, but look at who you’re talking to here. We’ve been hanging out for weeks and I’ve never pressured you into something you didn’t want to do.”
“I know, and I thank you for that. It’s just… I need you to be patient with me a little while longer.”
Be patient? “I’m not asking you to do anything,” I said, stopping when we reached an intersection. “I just don’t want to get blindsided. That’s all.”
“And you know I’ve been hurt enough to know what it would feel like to go through that pain in return.” She turned to me and held our hands between us. “I would never, ever do that to you. As soon as I feel something’s off, I’ll let you know.”
“But now?” I hedged, not sure if I wanted to know the answer.
“I like you, Evie. I really like you, and if you’ll have me, I’d like to give this a try. I know it won’t be easy. It’ll be damn-near impossible at times, but you’ve made me laugh more in the last few weeks than I have in years. It isn’t just because of my mom or Laura, either. I used to smile all the time, and while I do it on stage, real life isn’t that simple.”
“Trust me, I know.” I took a long breath and held her hand in mine as we crossed to the other side of the street. “And I’m willing to give this a try so long as you are. I won’t say I’m
thrilled with the idea of you being on tour and so far away, but I know we’ll talk whenever we can, and I can see you whenever I want so long as I look up your recent videos online.”
“But that isn’t me,” she said, her words strained at the end.
“I know it isn’t, but it’s still a part of you, one I’ll gladly accept until your next break.” I paused then, standing outside my shop once I realized how far we’d gone. “Do you always come home during break?”
“Pretty much. When I’m on tour, I tend to get my sight-seeing out of the way a few days after I arrive. The rest of my time is spent in hotel rooms or on the bus. It can suck and be exciting all at the same time. To be honest, sight-seeing isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, especially not as a celebrity. I’d love to see the world through someone else’s eyes, not getting interrupted when I’m looking at the Eiffel Tower or admiring the displays inside the Louvre Museum.”
I smiled at that. “It’s funny. So many of us would die to have a life like yours, but you just want to live one that’s close to normal.”