“I’m hanging up now.”
“Love you!” she said in her sweetest voice, drawing out the words before finally hanging up.
Alone in the shop, silence quickly fell down around me.
Aside from the very light music I had playing on the overhead speakers, all was quiet. There were no kids in the children’s section giggling over brightly colored books, no adults taking them through the shop to pick out one of their favorites, and no one sitting up front with their morning paper.
The life that once existed inside the shop was no more, replaced with full shelves, silence, and empty chairs. As quickly as my sister had lifted my spirits, that warm feeling disappeared, traded for a cold shop and no one to share it with.
Cassidy finally reached out to me the following week. I’d just finished putting a new shipment of books on the shelves when I got a text, soon followed by rapid tapping on the back door. Before I could get the door open the entire way, she slipped inside, sounding terribly out of breath as she spoke.
“Thanks. My manager’s been hounding me all morning, and I could really use the quiet,” she said, her words running together. “He seriously wants me to do this interview on channel eight and… you’d think after working with me for years he’d know I don’t do that.” When she finally ran out of breath, she sucked in a lungful of air, then offered me an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. You don’t want to hear about this. It’s just I don’t really have anyone else to talk to since my mom’s gone and Joel’s got his own life to tend to.”
“Who’s Joel?” I asked, stepping aside before gesturing toward the front of the shop where it got the most sunlight.
“Oh, he’s my best friend. We used to live down the street from one another, but he’s got his own things going on so I don’t want to weigh him down.” Realizing what she’d said, she looked at me and corrected herself. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that I want to trouble you, either, it’s just… god, talking’s hard this early in the morning.”
I giggled, then gently placed a hand on her shoulder. “I’ve been there, so I totally get it.” I stepped behind the front counter and removed the red coffee maker from underneath of it, plugging it in before putting in some fresh beans and filtered water I always kept alongside it. “It might not be as good as the stuff they sell at Maggie’s, but it should help,” I said, referring to the coffee as it started to brew.
“After my dad died, my sister didn’t want to talk about it.
Aside from the funeral, she acted as though it didn’t exist. In her mind, our dad had gone on a much-needed vacation. It wasn’t until later when she finally faced it, but by then, she was too stuck in her own head to share her feelings with me.”
“She sounds young,” Cassidy said, leaning against the front counter and smiling her thanks when I handed her a fresh cup of coffee. “You’re a lifesaver. Truly. And this isn’t nearly as bad as you make it sound,” she said, holding up the mug so she could study it. “I like it.”
“It isn’t too plain for your accomplished palette?” I teased, hiding my smile behind my own mug when she looked at me again.
“Please. I don’t really do all the fancy stuff. People would like to think so, but I’ve had times when I came close to living on the streets, so I tend to hold on to whatever funds I get.”
“I’m the same way. Aside from the shop, I don’t spend much at all. Anyway, my sister is only a few years younger than me, but she had a hard time dealing with things when Dad passed away, so I didn’t press her. I wanted to talk about it and sort things out, but she didn’t.”
“So you did it all yourself?” Cassidy asked, her brow furrowing above her eyes.
I offered her a partial shrug, then walked over to one of the sofas in the front lounge so we could sit down. “For a little bit.
She helped with the house when she could. There were a lot of things she wanted to keep that belonged to our mom. I’d sooner get rid of everything but the shop because everything else doesn’t come close to the significance of where we are now. Anyway, I’m rambling. Like I said before, I get it.
Talking to someone, anyone, can really help. I once rambled off to one of the waitresses at Maggie’s. It was later in the day and they had a lull, but I still felt bad for holding her up.”
“They must’ve known him, though,” Cassidy said, sitting cross-legged on the sofa across from mine.
“They did, so I guess that made it a little easier, but we all can
’t be so lucky. “I gave her a pointed look, leaning back as I did. “So why is your manager pressuring you to get in the public’s eye?”
She blew out a long breath, causing a tendril of hair to flutter in front of her face. She tucked it behind her ear, then spoke. “Probably because my last song was written three years ago. It isn’t like I’m not trying, but after my mom got sick, I just didn’t see the point. I couldn’t put my energy toward it.”
“But you still went on tour?”
“I did,” she said, choking around the words. “I thought I was doing it for the fans, but I was honestly afraid of what I’d have to face once I came home. Does that make me a terrible person?”
I quickly shook my head, then got to my feet so I could join her on the other side of the lounge. “It means you’re human.
It’s normal to want to run from the pain. That’s what Bridget did and what I would’ve done if I had someone else around to handle all of the stress. However, seeing as I’m the oldest…”
“You took it upon yourself to carry the full weight so your sister could cope,” she finished for me, smiling as she did.
“My manager was understanding at first, but he gets impatient.