“And what if Jackie finds out I brought a pretend date to her wedding? That’ll be so humiliating,” Carmela countered, leaving Rhiannon elated.
Much to her shock, Carmela was really mulling the idea over. She had a chance to spend time away with her. Maybe in a new environment, Carmela might look at her di erently.
Either way, she needed her to agree. The desire was churning in her guts and pushing though her veins.
“Don’t decide right now,” Rhiannon urged. “Give it a little thought. I won’t make any plans for the end of the
month.”
When Carmela didn’t say anything, she counted it as a win.
THURSDAY NIGHT DINNER with Liz was the first time Carmela hadn’t been glued to her phone in nearly six months. She’d been pushing a cherry tomato around her plate when she lost track of Liz’s story. Last she’d heard, Liz was talking about Philip and taking a ski trip with his grandkids for New Year’s Eve, but since she was now discussing new fixtures for the o ce restroom, Carmela had obviously missed something.
As sh
e tried to catch up, Liz called her out. “You know, when people get what they want, they’re usually happy about it.”
Carmela’s eyes narrowed in on Liz’s smirk. “I’m happy,”
she snapped defensively.
Liz’s raised eyebrows conveyed her disbelief. “You’re certainly acting like someone who has accomplished a dream,” she said before taking a sip of rich, red wine. “It’s about Rhi, isn’t it?”
There was no melodic rise to Liz’s voice. No indication there was any question. Carmela resisted the urge to dismiss her o hand. Denying her feelings had so far gotten her nowhere but miserable on what should’ve been an amazing day.“I don’t know what to do, Liz,” she admitted, the crushing weight of uncertainty shoving her shoulders into a slump.
“What do you mean? You like her. It’s obvious she’s likes you. Pretty sure the whole o ce can see the crush she has on you. What’s there to do?”
Carmela shook her head. “You make it sound so easy, but you’re leaving out a sixteen-year age di erence.
Theoretically, Rhiannon could be my kid,” she countered in a whisper scream as if she were confessing to wire fraud.
Furrowing her brow, Liz cocked her head to one side. “But she is not your kid. She’s an adult. A rather smart and plucky one at that, and more mature than some sixty-year-olds I know. Sure, the di erence might take some adjustment, but is that really the only reason you’re stopping yourself from exploring someone you’re interested in?”
Heat rose in Carmela’s body like a flash flood. “We work in the same o ce. That could get very messy,” she tossed out so the age-gap wouldn’t get cold in the excuses bin all alone.
Liz laughed in her face. “Oh come on, Carm. Now you’re really desperate. Sure, independent contractors who never need to see each other or work together are really going to have a complicated work life.” She waved her hand in the air as if shooing away her words. “Next.”
“Why do you care so much?” Carmela asked before draining her ice water.
“Because I’m tired of seeing you so sad, Carm. You know I’m a huge proponent of the single life. No one wants commitment less than I do,” she softened her tone, “but you’re not me, babe. I know you want a family, and you’re too young to just give up on that like you have. I mean, look at how you’ve been since the divorce. There are widows who don’t live with the ghosts of their lost love the way you do.”
The hard truth hit Carmela like a cannonball to the chest.
Wanting to dispute the accusations, she opened her mouth, but nothing came out. The bullshit well was empty.
After a long time, Carmela unclenched her muscles and sighed. “I’m scared, Liz.” The admission was freeing,
prompting her to sit up straighter. “I’m completely terrified.”
Liz’s
expression
slipped
into
compassionate