“No.” Jos cupped Eden’s face tenderly. “This is our life. You opened yourself up to me to teach me how to do that. You made me see all the things I was making myself blind to before. I won’t do that again. From now on, this is us. I might be slow at learning, slow and painful, but with you beside me—”
“I’m not going anywhere. Slow and painful or not. You turn me inside out, Jos. You have for longer than you’ve ever known. You inspired me to be what I am and who I am today. You’ve inspired thousands of men and women you don’t even know just by being who you were. Even if you had to be tough, you were still you, and that’s special. You’re always going to be a hurricane that could level me. You’re always going to take my breath away. I am so crazy excited to call you my girlfriend. I am so freaking excited to call myself yours.”
“You’re so good,” Jos sighed. “So trusting, and you believe in the good things. You believe that they keep coming. You have this crazy amount of hope. Even for the areas in this city that seem hopeless. For the people the world forgot. You see things that no one else sees. You are the sun, Eden. You are the freaking sun.”
Eden cupped Jos’ face right there in the parking lot outside the studio where they no longer worked. She kissed her slowly, sweetly, lingering over her lips, kissing her until she was breathless, and Jos was laughing shakily after.
“Then be my moon,” she told Jos. “Be my partner.”
“Yes.” Jos tilted her face up and kissed her again. “Yes, Eden. You don’t just complete me. I’m not looking for you to do that. But you give me hope that I can find a way to complete myself.”
“Jos?” Eden asked.
“Yes?”
“Now that we’re free to do whatever the heck we please, do you want to get a burger at that diner again? Because the last one, those obnoxious photos notwithstanding, was very, very good.”
“I think it was the company I enjoyed more than anything,” Jos admitted shyly, and Eden’s head swam. There was no way she’d ever get used to this. To this level of awesome wonderfulness in her life.
“We can go anywhere, then,” Eden amended. “Anywhere.” That was a beautiful word. A beautiful prospect. The start of something that they could create together.
“I’m good with the diner.”
“Then I’ll meet you there?”
Jos nodded and grinned. “I’ve left my car windows to chance often enough, but here, if anywhere, is where they’ll get smashed.”
That shouldn’t have made Eden laugh, but it did. She laughed and kissed Jos again, basking in the happiness they were already finding and creating together.
Epilogue
Eden
“Good morning, love of my life. I’m waking you up at the lovely time of three in the morning because Alex just exploded in his crib and Ginny won’t stop crying. I know this is my shift, but I’m going to lose my mind here. Oh, and don’t worry. Poo has been dealt with. It’s just crankiness that needs to be dealt with and rocking to be done.”
Jos blinked up at Eden with tired, grainy eyes. “Are we crazy for doing this again?”
“At least we’re not having twins this time.”
“Ha. So you think.”
The first time Eden was pregnant, they’d used Jos’ eggs. After two years of dating, they’d done what Jos probably promised herself she’d never do again, and they’d gotten married. Jos wanted a family so badly.
Eden knew how hard the whole month of October was on Jos. The miscarriage wasn’t something she’d ever forget, and she still grieved for the baby she’d lost. Eden grieved with her every year, and at every other time of the year when that pain struck and held like a fist.
She was there for all of Jos’ pain, all of the hard nights, the nightmares, the exhaustion after her sessions with the therapists she’d seen to get over the trauma that had been done to her as a child, the fresh pains of going off on their own and doing freelance journalism after being on TV for so long. She’d been there through all of it, which meant she’d also been the one to get every single one of Jos’ smiles, her laughter, her tears of joy, and all her plans and hopes for the future.
Jos was forty-six when they were married, and she was ready to start a family. They’d gone through IVF, which Eden would never admit was rougher than she thought it would be, and they were shocked to find out they were having twins. Those twins were now just over a year old.
Whoever said that the first year was the hardest and it was easier after that had never dealt with two babies who slept for a few hours at a time at most. The past year had been such a rough ride that they’d taken to doing shifts and they hadn’t deviated from that, or neither of them got any sleep.
And still, through it all, they’d decided to do IVF again, using Eden’s eggs this time, and Eden had just found out the week before that they were pregnant again. What were the odds of having twins again? Probably as good as the first time, considering how they’d been implanted. Two more babies was almost beyond fathoming, but even if they did end up having twins, Eden knew their lives would be just as crazy and sleep-deprived and perfect as they were now.
Jos rolled out of bed. “Are you okay?”
“I’m good.” Eden rubbed her stomach. “Perfect. I feel totally fine. Other than that, my ear drums are going to blow out.”
“That’s why we sleep with earplugs. So we can get sleep. We should take to wearing them awake too.” It wasn’t a joke. They really did have to use the ear plugs.