Morgun’s heart raced. She had to reach out and steady herself against the vanity. She’d felt something different with Laney right from the start. So what if that something different had at first been something closer to disgust and detest than actual like? Laney was able to stir up emotion in Morgun that she hadn’t felt in years. Or at least a depth that she hadn’t ever felt.
She’d learned so much in the past few weeks with Laney that it felt like they’d known each other for years. Then again, at times it felt that they’d only known each other for a very short time and that’s where the growing pains came from. Looking for someone and for a relationship was one thing. Falling into one and for someone when neither person expects it? That’s tough.
Morgun thought she knew Laney. The real Laney who was poking through the tough front more and more often. The Laney who was wickedly funny, sharp as shit, talented and artsy, and most of all, so caring and passionate. That was who Morgun really believed Laney was. Not the Laney who stood in the lunchroom and told people they weren’t together. Not the Laney who kept listening to all her doubts and worries, not the Laney who was so overwhelmed by the unexpected that she wavered before she broke.
The phone was slippery. Morgun had no idea why it was slippery, but then she realized that her hand was still a little wet and she was also shaking. Shaking like she was freezing cold, except that the bathroom was warm and steamy. She wasn’t cold at all. She was warm. Warm all over with that furious, resilient hope pumping hard like adrenaline through her veins.
She managed to get her uncooperative, wooden fingers to text out something. A time. 8pm?
The little dots danced at the bottom of the screen, then Laney’s response came back. Yes. That’s perfect. See you there. And thank you!
Laney was too practical to send any emojis and she didn’t seem like she’d ever send a gif. She didn’t communicate in pictures like Chelsea did, which was odd, considering how she made her living.
Morgun stopped thinking about that when she realized it was already just past seven and if she didn’t want to leave the house in a bath towel with her hair half soaked and her makeup smeared, she better hurry the heck up.
She dropped the towel and jumped back in the bath so fast it was a miracle she didn’t slip and break something. She calmed down, pulled the plug, and switched on the shower. She hated showers. She viewed showers as unrelaxed and hurried, a quick way to rinse off or soap up your hair when you were
extremely pressed for time and stressed out.
She paced herself, but she was already putting a plan together. She was going to arrive at the coffee shop, wet hair, no makeup, just her. Not in anything fancy, just jeans and a tank top or her comfy crewneck pullover sweater she liked so much. She was going to show up and she was going to be herself. She wasn’t going to come with any expectations, and she was going to temper that hope that was driving her crazy.
After that, it was up to Laney.
Chapter 29
Laney
Laney had spent a couple days after the shoot with Kirsten perfecting the apology of the century. She’d wanted to talk to a few other people first. Mostly her mom. She’d sucked it up and had taken her mom out for dinner. It was nice, just the two of them. She’d gone for coffee with Natasha the next day. That was also nice. Laney was surprised to find that when she was open to it and not already bothered before she even arrived, she enjoyed her family far more. She listened and considered, not just what they were saying, but them as well.
Ugh, I’ve been such an asshole.
After putting together what she thought she’d say, all those carefully planned words that she thought would come out not at all right, but maybe they’d be some semblance of enough or even a close approximation of right, she lost everything she was going to say as soon as Morgun walked into the little coffee shop.
It was nice that Morgun sat down without getting anything to drink, even though James was hovering around in the background. She gave him a huge smile as if to say that yes, she really was back, and yes, she really was back there with Laney, even after the disaster he’d witnessed last time.
It was also nice that Morgun spoke first, since Laney was having some serious trouble with her throat feeling like it was filled up with glue and sand.
“I didn’t realize how close this place is to work.”
“Yes, that’s why I come here.” Laney found she suddenly could make words.
She tried to go for more, to tell Morgun everything she’d come to say, but none of it seemed right anymore.
“Even if the lattes are too sweet.” She remembered how horrible Morgun had found the one she’d been drinking that first night she met her.
“I have something I want to admit,” Morgun suddenly blurted.
Laney waited, encouraging Morgun to continue with a nod. She was suddenly worried, because Morgun looked guilty and the strain of it showed in her face. Her beautiful face. A face that Laney hadn’t seen in just a few weeks, but it felt like years. She was so happy that Morgun was sitting across from her that it made her feel like she was vibrating.
“I knew who you were that night I saw your profile online,” Morgun started. “My friend made me the dumb profile to begin with. She thought I wasn’t getting out enough. I had a bad breakup with my last girlfriend. Well, not terrible. No one hated each other or anything, but then I was single for a long time and I was happy with that and my work and my friends. Happy enough. My best friend, Chelsea, she didn’t think it was good for me to be single and she went ahead and made me that profile. That sounds pushy, but we’ve known each other forever and I grudgingly played along with it because I knew she was just trying to help. I didn’t think anything would come of it. We were just scrolling one night, because she basically forced me to go on there, and I saw your profile. I knew who you were because we applied for the same job two years ago. The one you got. The one I didn’t.”
“Oh!” Laney’s mind spun and she thought she did remember Morgun from two years ago, but she couldn’t be sure. She hated that she couldn’t remember every single detail about her from that day, that she’d been too centered on herself to notice anyone else. The way she looked now would be forever burned into her memory though; all the little details, from Morgun’s crew neck sweater to her faded jeans, her wet hair to her face, completely devoid of makeup. She looked like she’d stepped out of the shower and rushed over to the coffee shop. She looked stunning. Absolutely stunning.
“Chelsea had this plot for me to be your date and use you for insider secrets. That sounds terrible. Really, I just wanted to get a few contacts from you if I could. Chelsea made that sound so subversive, but after the first meeting, after you told me what you wanted to do, I decided that maybe we’d be able to help each other. She made me change my mind and contact you another time. I was going to give up on all of it because it made me so uncomfortable, so I guess I have her to thank for everything that happened afterwards, even if her own intentions were not so honorable. Well, neither were mine at the start. I’d decided that I didn’t like you just because you got that job instead of me. It was really petty and shitty of me. See? I’m not always that nice.”
“Yes, you are,” Laney said, and she meant it. She didn’t have a drink or anything herself yet, so she tucked her hands in her lap so she wouldn’t fidget with them. “It was just supposed to be an arrangement or an agreement or whatever. It wasn’t that dishonest.”
“I did lie to you though, when you asked me. I’m sorry.”