19. Eros
“YOU HAVE NO right to kick me out of a job,” I said, striding along the corridor to keep up with Roy’s pace. We’d left Murphy’s office less than ten minutes ago, but he was already dismissing me, running ahead of me. “Roy.” A feral growl intruded in my voice that echoed in the hallway.
He came to an abrupt stop, a tendon in his neck throbbing. “The job for Murphy is too dangerous, Kristin, and you aren’t a trained spy. It’s not personal. Or maybe it is. I wouldn’t involve any novice in a mission that dangerous. That would be irresponsible of me. I won’t risk your life again, not after Berlin.”
“I can help you.” How many times had I said that? But had he ever listened? No. “There must be something I can do without risking my life and without you worrying too much about me.”
He groaned, an exhale leaving his lips. “Yes, you could help, but if something happens to you, if you get hurt again…” He paused, a tremor going through him. “I’ll never forgive myself. I work alone, or with a team of professionals. You aren’t a professional. Remember that.”
The fear ringing in his voice soothed my anger because it was obvious that he cared, and because I was aware that I didn’t have the experience Connor or Norma had. But it didn’t mean that I wasn’t frustrated. “But—”
“Listen.” He put his hands on my shoulders in full violation of our ‘no touching’ pact. “Stay here in Raven Park. Keep an eye on your friend, Peggy. And be careful.”
“This is unfair.”
“It’s not unfair if you are safe and sound. I’m ready to sacrifice anything to stop the Nazis, but not you. Despite what you think of me, you’re too precious.” He leaned closer, as if to kiss me, but then removed his hands and stepped back. With a final glance at me, he strode away.
My beast came out of her own accord. Anger shoved her forward, and I didn’t bother pushing her down. With my fangs unsheathed and my muscles bulging with energy, I stomped to my bedroom, making a mental list of all the things Roy was. Arrogant appeared thrice. Bastard, a couple of times.
When I opened the door to my room—slammed it against the wall was more like it—Peggy jolted. She was pacing in front of the window, eyes red and puffy. Shivers shook her, and her teeth were chattering. My wrath dissolved, and my fangs swept back into my gums.
“Peggy, what’s the matter?” I walked over to her, glancing at the pile of books on her bed.
“Nothing, nothing.” She wiped her eyes, her hand trembling.
“Rubbish. Tell me what’s wrong.”
A heavy sigh rose from her, leaving her shivering again. “I-I can’t tell you.”
Oh, no. Not Peggy, as well. Everyone had secrets they didn’t want to share with me. A new flush of anger flickered within my chest, causing my beast to growl.
“Does it have something to do with the disaster at the mill?” I asked with a complete lack of tact I was regretting. Well done for someone who was supposed to be a subtle and tactical spy. “Because you entered it the day of the bombing?”
Her head whipped up, and she shuffled back, as if I’d slapped her. “What? Do you think I’m involved with the bomb?” She wheezed.
“No.” My anger deflated again. All these ups and downs were giving me a headache, and deep down, I couldn’t find any reasons to accuse Peggy of being a murderer. “You aren’t a killer, but your name is on the list of people who entered the mill that day.”
“How do you know that?”
“I can’t tell you.” I shot her words back to her.
The ghost of a snarl appeared on her mouth, but it was soon gone.
“You don’t deny it, then,” I said after she remained silent for a while.
“No.” She dropped herself onto the bed, shoulders stooping. “It was a coincidence that I was there and then the bomb went off. You know that to enter the mill we need a special authorisation that isn’t issued immediately. It takes from one to two weeks, and I went through a thorough interrogation before my permission to enter was granted.”
“Why did you go there?” The quilt dipped when I sat next to her.
“I wanted to consult the library in the mill. Not everyone knows it, but there’s a well-supplied library there with the latest volumes on medicine, chemistry, and other sciences. I’m studying…something, and I was curious.” She wriggled her hands, her eyes still red.
“What are you studying?”
She pressed her lips together and closed her fists.
I exhaled, half in exasperation and half out of exhaustion. “You can trust me. I’m not going to tell anyone.” I gave her hand a squeeze.
A moment of quiet thickened between us. I nudged her with my elbow. “Maybe I can help.” I was growing tired of saying it.