“Easier said than done.” Still blushing, she stuffed her notepad in her bag that was filled with books…with letters. “I’ll see you later.”
I exhaled when she left, sorry for her and for not being of help. Before going to the training hall and to have my butt kicked by Bruce and Michael, I went to my room. With each step along the way, I searched for Roy, but he was nowhere to be seen. A phantom ache of his sense of betrayal echoed within me. He’d hurt me, but I’d hurt him more.
When I entered my bedroom, I paused. Sobs hiccupped from the bathroom, the door ajar. Oh no. Peggy. I pushed the door open. “Peggy, you don’t—” I skidded to a screeching stop. It wasn’t Peggy. Blonde hair dishevelled, Clare was sobbing over the sink. She didn’t bother to hide her tears as she turned towards me. Her red-striped cheeks and puffed nose made her look young and lost.
Despite how she’d behaved with me, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of sorrow for her. “Are you unwell?”
“Why?” she asked. “Why you?”
“I don’t understand.”
Her bottom lip, smeared with red lipstick, quivered. “I do everything I can to be perfect. I train hard. I’m the best fighter in Raven Park, and I’m gorgeous. But he wants you. Why?”
There was an honesty, a vulnerability in the question I couldn’t ignore. Besides, everything she said was true. Watching her, so desperate and broken, started a stir of uneasiness in my belly. My beast shifted around. “You assaulted him. What did you expect?”
She didn’t seem surprised by the fact that I was aware of her secret. She spread out her arms. “He’s a man. He liked it.”
“No, he didn’t.” I closed my fists as Roy’s tense face when he’d told me about what Clare had done to him flashed across my mind. “An assault is an assault, no matter who the victim is.”
“I was sure he came though.”
Hounds of hell. This woman had no idea. “You forced him. He’s a man who likes to be in control. All the time. You shouldn’t have taken that away from him.” Was I giving love advice again? To Clare? Somebody, please, shut me up.
With a towel, she wiped her face without managing to regain any composure. “So, it’s me he doesn’t want, huh? I’m not good enough. I’m never good enough. Not for my foster parents. Not for Commander Allen. Not for Bruce.” She slammed the towel against the marble counter. “Not for bloody Roy. While you have your aunt. Bruce likes you, and Roy wants you.”
“Bruce? What happened to him? Did you attack him as well?”
Instead of answering, she flung the second door open, the one that led to her bedroom, and slammed it shut behind her. Blimey.
~ * ~
I WASN’T READY for a fight. In a few months, maybe I would be. More than a few months. But at the moment, I didn’t have any experience in sparring. Roy had never taught me, and Kenneth had used me as his punching bag without actually telling me how to throw a punch or parry one. I probably should have mentioned that to Nathan earlier, but this sparring session was only an experiment.
“Nervous?” Nathan asked as we warmed up in the training hall.
I glanced at Bruce and Michael throwing shadow punches with their elegant but precise movements. Even when they weren’t merged, they were perfectly coordinated, moving together, as if they shared one mind. They would beat us to a pulp.
“I’m not really good at sparring,” I said. “In fact, I’m terrible at sparring.”
“Don’t worry. This session isn’t to assess your fighting skills. It’s to see how coordinated we can be. If Roy isn’t around.” He chuckled. “I don’t want to be attacked again.”
“I’m sure he’ll keep his distance.”
He opened his arms, smiling. “Let’s show them our wolf.”
I stepped into his embrace, throwing a glance at the other side of the hall, in case a certain short-tempered man showed up. The merging happened so quickly that I barely registered the warmth spreading through my skin. Fur grew from my body, my fangs elongated, and power ran through my veins. My beast roared, glad to be released.
Bruce tilted his head to the side, studying us. “Not bad. Nice wolf, but can it match our tiger?”
Michael merged with him by simply stepping towards him. They didn’t even need to hold hands. Their bodies fused together, and a golden and black tiger stood in front of me. Massive shoulders rippled with energy under the fur. Thick legs promised a long chase, and those claws could rip me open with a casual stroke. It wasn’t Roy’s massive panther, but impressive nevertheless.
The answer to Bruce’s question was no, of course. Just looking at the tiger’s paws and fangs, I wanted to turn tail and flee. Not to mention how the tiger moved. Smooth, fluid movements that flowed from one stance to another. Nothing to do with my clumsy trot.
“Relax, Kristin,” Nathan said inside my head. “Follow my lead and everything will be fine. It’s like dancing.”
“I’m a terrible dancer as well.”
He laughed, the sound reverberating inside me. “I’ll do the fighting. You’ll follow.”