3
TEDDY
PRESENT DAY
Bananas.
It feels like I was just viciously punched in the stomach, and Tanya keeps talking about the bananas she bought. How they’re too green to make into banana bread to take to the reception after the memorial service.
The service Sutton will be at.
Bam. Another punch.
I didn’t think she would come back. That’s what it comes down to, really. I figured she would be too busy living her exciting, glamorous life to come back to this tiny town and say goodbye to the grandfather she barely knew.
But Sutton came back.
And Ellie didn’t.
I don’t know why I still do it—find disconnects between the two of them. And I knowexactlywhy I do it. The same reason it took thirty seconds and my girlfriend of four months appearing to unstick my tongue from the top of my mouth when Sutton Everett suddenly appeared in front of me.
Tanya keeps talking about the banana bread. I keep nodding along like I’m listening to a word she’s saying. Up until she asks me a direct question and I have to give her an actual answer.
“How do you know Sutton Everett?”
“Um, she…she’s Ellie Lowe’s stepsister.”
I fall back on my standard answer. Tanya knows about Ellie, my high school girlfriend. The bubbly brunette who went above and beyond her student council duties to make the new guy feel welcome when I moved here freshman year, finally admitting she had a crush when I told her she didn’t need to keep walking with me between classes since Brookfield High was smaller than my elementary school was. The girl I made out with in the backseat of this same car and attended Friday night football games with.
That’s an easy past relationship to characterize on a third date, when exes came up.
Explaining how I know Sutton can’t be boiled down to the same simple, explainable terms.
I didn’t try then, and I don’t try now.
“Oh. Okay.” Tanya places heavy emphasis on theoh, letting me know she’s made the logical—and incorrect—assumption that the awkwardness earlier was based on my past relationship with Ellie.
Honestly, I wish it were.
My feelings for Sutton and Ellie are so separate and distinguished and different that it’s laughable.
It’s disconcerting to realize the…connectionthat was between us before is still there.
That eight years and thousands of miles and her becoming one of the most famous singers in the world didn’t remove the connection that had hummed between us so strongly that it always felt tangible. Didn’t kill the chemistry that crackled in the air. Wasn’t enough to keep me from wanting to kiss her. From feeling like I had a right to. From feeling like she was still mine to kiss even though she never was.
“None of my exes have famous siblings, in case you were wondering.”
I chuckle, but it’s flat and weak. Nothing more than an expected response. “Good to know.”
Tanya clears her throat and changes the subject. “I was talking to Hilarie after work yesterday.”
“Uh-oh.”
“Shut up.” Tanya laughs. “You don’t even know what we talked about.”
“Fine. What did you talk about?”
“Well, first, we were discussing a teacher dress-up for the last day of classes.”