He says nothing. And I’m a coward who can’t look him in the eye.
Finally, he speaks. “We should go. Chaperones will do the rounds.”
I want a minute to myself. I want to scream and cry and wallow. He’s angry and hurt—I can hear both lurking beneath the flat tone of his voice. But telling him to go ahead feels like an admission. That if I don’t care enough to give us a chance, then I don’t have any right to fall apart after the fact.
“Okay,” is all I say.
I think of a thousand other things to add on the short walk from the math wing back to the gymnasium. None of them make it past the filter of my mouth. Anything I say now will do more harm than good.
There’s no music playing in the gymnasium. The DJ is speaking. I don’t register a word he’s saying, too focused on what saying goodbye to Teddy should look like. Is there anything else to say?
And then I hear my name over the speakers. Classmates looking at me, pointing and whispering.
I look at Teddy beside me. “What’s going on?”
Teddy has his eyes closed, a look of regret sketched deeply in the lines of his face. He swears under his breath, then looks at me. “You said I’d never heard you sing. I wanted to.” I don’t miss how he’s already switched to the past tense. Wanted, not want. Maybe it’s already loved, not love now too.
“You did this?” I ask quietly.
He didn’t see it coming.
He expected our conversation just now to end differently. That realization makes me feel even worse, which I didn’t think was possible.
“He said…” Teddy glances toward the DJ. “He said the only special requests he was taking was for songs. I didn’t think he’d actually—” He sighs. “I’ll go take care of it.”
He steps forward. I grab the sleeve of his suit without thinking.
“No. I want to.” This time, I’m the one who moves forward. “You coming? I need a guitarist.”
I don’t say what I’m really thinking.I don’t want to do this without you.After what just took place between us, I have no right to make any requests.
But I feel his presence behind me a few seconds later anyway. The telltale sting of tears burns my eyes as I reach the DJ, who hands over the microphone with a smile. I force one back in response before continuing toward the small stage on the far side of the gymnasium. I’ve never been up here, but I’ve attended enough assemblies to know the small staircase is tucked in the corner. Teddy ducks into the band room off to the right. Presumably to grab a guitar, but maybe to flee.
Heads turn my way. Murmurs ripple through the crowd. I walk across the stage, feeling impervious to the commotion. Numb.
Stage fright has never been a fear of mine. I performed in school plays and talent shows when I was younger, without the slightest appearance of nerves. Any I’m experiencing are unrelated to singing.
I reach center stage and lift the microphone so my voice carries across the large space. “How’s it going,seniors?!”
The loud roar that greets those words catches me off guard.
Once it quiets enough for me to hear myself think, I continue speaking. “Some of you might be wondering what I’m doing up here. Well, I’m going to sing. I was…dared to—”Daredsounds better thanthe guy I just dumped but never even dated set this up, I decide. “And for those of you who don’t know me, I’ve never met a dare I didn’t accept. So …”
Out of the corner of my eye, a flash of motion catches my attention. Teddy’s walking toward me, holding a guitar.
“You guys know Teddy Owens, right?”
The answering cheer is even noisier than the first. The most raucous shouts seem to be coming from a group of cheerleaders clustered in the center of the dance floor, and I’m glad I haven’t spotted Ellie in the crowd.
“Did you all know he’s one hel—” I spot a chaperone and catch myself just in time. I’m moderately surprised I haven’t already been asked to get off stage, so no need to push it. “I mean,heckof a guitar player?”
Another cheer.
“Well, here goes nothing.”
I glance over at Teddy.
“What are you singing?” he asks.