“I’m trying to impress you,” I realize and admit. It’s easier to share truths like this when I’m not looking at him and they can fade away into the still night air.
“You don’t need to do anything to impress me, June.”
Because I do without trying or because I shouldn’t try?Rather than saythat, I ask, “What do you teach?”
He hesitates, and I realize why when he answers, “Math.”
I sit up, a wide grin automatically stretching across my face. “Shut up.”
He sighs, but he has a smile on his face too. “I knew you’d make a thing about it.”
“Teddy! You’reterribleat math.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Um,yes, you are.” I laugh. “Are you forgetting we were in the same Calculus class senior year? All the times you would ask me to…” My voice trails off as I take in his expectant, slightly embarrassed expression, waiting for me to put the pieces together. “Oh.”
“It’s good we didn’t have English together. It would have been way harder to pretend I was illiterate.”
I laugh—something I used to do a lot around him and another thing that hasn’t changed, apparently. “Wow. I didn’t realize. That’s—”
“Pathetic?”
“I was going to say sweet,” I reply softly.
Teddy shrugs. “I took what I could get.”
We’re both silent, trying to decide how to proceed forward. What to say and what not to speak. At least, that’s what I’m doing.
“I was hoping you’d sing earlier,” he finally says, changing the subject while looking out at the dark stretch of water spread before us.
“I thought about it, but I didn’t know him all that well. I wouldn’t even know what to sing.”
“Bullshit.” He speaks the word quietly. Instead of a curse, it sounds more like a caress.
“I don’t sing for fun anymore. It’s a job. I don’t know how to go back and be that girl.”
Teddy is silent for a minute. Then, he stands.
I’m worried he’s leaving, and so I say one of the worst possible things I could. “You going in for a swim?”
He looks down at me.
Holds out a hand, which I take.
Pulls me up, so we’re face to face.
We stare at each other. I can feel everything swirling around us. All the things I want to say building inside of me, like a shaken bottle of champagne.
I know I won’t say any of them.
Seals have to be broken, and I’m leaving tomorrow.
He’s dating someone. And he’s still Ellie’s ex.
He’llalwaysbe Ellie’s ex.
“Come on.” He drops my hand and climbs down the rock.