27
CLAIRE
Johnny is fucking adorable.
I mean, he started off in my mind as a total asshole, and now, he’s leaving sweet kisses all over my head and giving me a key to his place.
It’s probably way too quick and totally irrational, but I guess when things are right, there’s no need to deny it.
In the short time that we’ve known each other, there has been an undeniable pull between us, and given everything that’s happened, the little and big things, we’ve bonded.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t freaking out, but deep down, I don’t think it has anything to do with him.
What happened last night with Griffin, it was intense.
And I’m a little scared of how I’m reacting.
There is this mix of emotions—fear and shame and guilt, but also anger and rage. This part of me that is so pissed off at Griffin that I don’t have any sympathy in me for his current condition.
He’s lying in a hospital bed and there is no compassion left in me to feel sorry for him.
Doesn’t that make me some kind of monster?
Griffin is twisted in the head. But does he actually deserve what happened to him? Does anyone?
Johnny is right to worry about me, because I’m worried about myself.
And right now, I’m clinging to the calming comfort he provides when he’s nearby. I’m afraid that if he disappears for too long, I’ll lose it all. I just need a little time to regain my composure and then I’ll be back to the old Claire.
“I come bearing gifts.” Johnny enters his front door and comes over to the couch where I’m sitting. “Aw, you look cute as hell.”
He’s referring to the gray sweatpants I borrowed from him.
“I hope it’s okay, I got cold.” I take the cup of coffee he hands me and breathe in the heavenly scent.
Bram really does have the best brew around. It’s strong, but not too bitter.
“Of course.” Johnny kisses my cheek. “Whatever you need.” He plops down next to me and opens up the bag. “A famous Bram’s breakfast sammy. And donuts, obviously.”
“Famous? According to who?” I laugh but take it anyway.
“Me, duh.” He feigns offense. “And Bram.”
“Bram doesn’t count.”
“But I do?” Johnny winks at me and bites off a chunk of his sandwich.
Something about it just melts my fucking heart and has me feeling like I’m floating.
“Hey, I was thinking...” I hand him a napkin and set one on my own lap.
"Uh-oh." He wipes his mouth. "Breaking up with me already? Damn, that was short-lived."
I roll my eyes at him. “Shut up.” Plus, you can’t break up with someone you aren’t officially dating. Right?
“So, it’s not bad news? Carry on.”
I test my coffee to see if it’s going to burn my mouth off or not. “No, neither good nor bad. But I thought maybe we could focus on thissituationof yours. The one you’ve been stressing out about. We’re nearly caught up with our assignments, and it sure would be a great distraction from…well…you know.”