13
CLAIRE
Johnny finally came out of his house. And the fact that I know this has me feeling like a total stalker. Over the last few days, I’ve managed to keep a close eye on his house, waiting for someactualsign of life, not just a light flipping on and off or food disappearing from his doorway.
My heart nearly thumped out of my chest when I glanced out my window and spotted him jogging down the stairs and rushing through the courtyard of our complex.
He was very much alive, and that alone made me relieved and pissed all at the same time.
Obviously, I don’t want him to die, but he could have said something to me—anythingat all—after I nursed him back to life.
Maybe I’m asking too much. It’s not like Johnny requested my services. I offered them willingly. And just as I didn’t owe him anything, he doesn’t either. I shouldn’t be upset with him for my own expectations of how I think he should react.
When I dropped food off the other day, I told myself he was no longer my problem. That I had done everything I could do for him, and I would focus on my own troubles. Why can’t I stick to that? Why does he keep invading my thoughts with worries of whether or not he’s okay?
It’s infuriating, really. And I need to make it stop.
My phone buzzes, and I’m grateful when I notice that it’s not Griffin. He gave me an earful earlier, and I’m not too thrilled to go through that again. Talking to Griffin is like playing a twisted game of Russian roulette, only instead of a bullet, it’s gambling on which personality you’re going to get, and all of them are pretty crappy options. Even the nice version of him sucks because it's short-lived, only to be replaced with a hateful one after he sinks his hooks into his victims.
I focus my gaze on the screen at the text from the girl in my English Lit class. We exchanged numbers this morning when she invited me to go out with her and a group of her friends tonight. Apparently, there’s a few bars downtown that don’t check for I.D. and serve college students. It’s not my usual idea of fun, but considering it’s the first decent friend I’ve made since I’ve been here, I embrace the opportunity at a normal life.
Cora:Pick you up at ten?
Me:Sounds good, see you later!
I push another button and dial Rosie. If I'm going to go out and socialize with people my age, I need help picking out something to wear. We might be two thousand miles apart, but she's still my best friend and my go-to for stuff like this.
* * *
“Shots, shots, shots!” Cora cheers the second we walk into the bar.
The music is loud, and the place is crowded, but I’m determined to have a good time. I need this. Life has been so chaotic lately between Griffin and the move and…Johnny…that I need something to take my mind away from things for a little while.
“Go find a table, I'll get the first round.” Cora shoves me and two of her friends into the mass of people and makes her way to the bar. She disappears almost instantly, blending in with everyone else trying to get the bartender's attention.
One of the girls, Steff, grabs onto my hand and drags me through the horde to an empty spot near a couple pool tables.
I’m grateful for the can-do attitude she shares with Cora because I’m pretty lost.
The other friend trails behind, scoping the place out on her way.
“Earth to June,” Steff calls out to her.
“Sorry.” June does a final glance and approaches our area. “Just wanted to make sure Andrew isn’t here. I don’t really feel like dealing withthattonight.”
“Are you two still on the outs?” Steff cranes her neck to look toward the bar.
“Permanently.” June pulls out her phone.
“Good.” Steff takes a seat on one of the stools lining our table. “I never did like him.”
June lets out a laugh. “Me either.”
“Oh, whatever, you were crazy about him.” Steff reaches over and gently shoves June’s shoulder.
“Crazy about getting him into bed…and he lasted all of three seconds.” She rolls her eyes and sighs. “He’s a thing of the past now.” June turns her screen around to show us both a picture of a reasonably attractive guy. “He’s been replaced. What do you think?”
Cora comes over with a huge smile on her beautiful face and four tall shot glasses squeezed between her hands. “Doubles!”