I sink back into my seat and let the weight of it all crash over me.
Rosie tightens her high ponytail. “What are you going to do?”
“WhatshouldI do?”
Tell him,my mind urges me.
But what if that’s the wrong choice? Johnny already has enough on his plate, what if this sets him over the edge? Not only will he be upset that I went behind his back, but then knowing his dad is out there, and that he’s a criminal on top of it? And there’s still the truth of the Griffin situation. All of these secrets are piling up and building a wedge between us. I can’t allow this to be what breaks us, though. We’ve been through more than our fair share, but what if this is too much? There has to be some kind of breaking point—something that we can’t come back from.
Why did I ever think this would be a good idea? The way everything else has gone for us, I should have known this would result in nothing but disappointment.
“That’s up to you,” Rosie tells me. “How do you think he’ll handle it?”
I scan the screen once more, sighing at the mess this man has gotten himself into. If these reports are correct, Luciano is basically the Franklin of the east coast. And knowing what Franklin has done to us, and countless others, there’s no telling how Johnny will react.
“I don’t know,” I say honestly.
Johnny may have gotten wrapped up in some bad shit, but not for a second did he do so selfishly. Every single thing he’s done has been for the sake of saving someone else. He’s sacrificed himself time and time again to do the right thing, the noble thing. Johnny is a good man, one this world doesn’t deserve. And here he is, bred from a criminal and a woman who ultimately went down bad path after bad path until she met her untimely demise. It would crush him to know what a bad man his father is. What if he loses himself thinking that he’s going down that same road?
I can see Johnny’s true self. The good one. But all he notices when he looks in the mirror is a bad guy. The one who’s done terrible things. He doesn’t believe he’s worthy of anything good, or to be loved, when in reality, he’s the best person I’ve ever known. Anyone who ever took a second to truly get to know him would say the same damn thing.
Even in the beginning, when Johnny partially had me fooled, Bram tried to convince me otherwise. Because Bram knew the truth. Johnny is a sheep in wolf’s clothing. Don’t get me wrong—he’s fierce and intimidating, but it’s only when those he cares about are in danger. He would risk anything to save someone who needed rescuing. And that’s the difference between Johnny and everyone he’s interacted with during his journey to the underworld.
“I’m going to find him.” The words that leave my mouth surprise even me.
Rosie’s eyes go wide. “What?”
“I have to. I have to see it for myself. I can’t get Johnny involved until I know.” Just as Johnny would do for me, I will do what I can to protect him. It’s my fault I dug too deep, and now I will be the one to handle what comes from it.