I killed him.
What if the shock rattling her features is caused by the realization that the man she’s withnowis a monster, too? What if, in defending Claire, I turned into something she could never look past?
All I’ve wanted to do was protect her, not make her fear me.
Claire lets out a long breath. “Yeah. I’m fine.” She forces a smile and finally meets my gaze. “You want some coffee?”
Is she really in that big of a rush to get away from me? How long until she’s gone for good? What if she can’t get over what I’ve done?
My heart constricts, like a giant hand is gripping it tightly, threatening to never let go.
“Claire.” Her name is soft and delicate on my lips. A gentle pleading with her to understand I’d never hurt her. To know that she’s the only thing that truly matters in this world.
“Yeah?” She bites at her lip, concealing whatever emotions that are bubbling to the surface.
“Can we talk about this?” I’ve always given Claire a choice, but damn if I don’t want to drop down on my knees and beg her to forgive me, to stay with me.
“What is there to talk about? He’s dead, that’s all that matters.” Claire’s jaw tenses.
I’d give anything to read her mind, to truly hear what it is that she’s thinking right now. I scan her face, desperately trying to uncover any hidden cue to help me figure her out. I always do my best to be in tune with Claire, her wants and needs, but at this very moment, it’s as though she has a wall up against me, not allowing me in. She’s blocking me out, and that only tightens the fist around my heart even more.
“I’m…” I start to apologize, but I don’t want to lie to her—I can’t. I’m not sorry for what I did. And if killing Griffin was the only way to save her, I’d do it over and over again. Deep down, I think Claire realizes this, too. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to keep her from harm’s way. I’d go to the ends of the earth and stop at nothing to make sure she was safe.
I guess that’s what happens when you fall for someone the way I have for Claire.
Deeply, powerfully, and without any fucking reservations.
I may have pushed her away, but I don’t regret doing what I know with certainty was the right thing to do. Griffin would have killed her himself if I didn’t step in and stop him. If I have to lose Claire, I’d rather it be like this than at the hands of Griffin or some other sick fuck.
“You’re what?” Claire waits for me to continue.
I say the only thing I can. “I love you.”
I don’t miss the way her shoulders relax in the slightest, the release of tension that flutters out of her. She reaches out and runs her finger along my cheek. “I love you.”
And maybe, just maybe, I haven’t lost her after all.