46
CLAIRE — NOW
How am I going to get Johnny’s saliva on this test tube without telling him what it is?
It’s not that I want any more secrets between us, but he’s dealing with enough on his own, I’d rather present him withgoodnews, not news that will make him nervous while we wait for the results.
What if his family is full of a bunch of serial killers? Or they’re all dead? What if there is no one left and it really is just Johnny? I’d rather carry that burden for him until he’s ready for it. But, what if he has living grandparents that own a bakery and go to bingo every Thursday and had no idea they had a grandson? There’s a possibility that Johnny might have someoneotherthan me and Bram, and I’d love to be able to give him that.
“You okay?” Johnny asks from his spot at our dining room table. He wipes his mouth on a napkin and takes a drink of his tea.
“Yeah.” I change the subject. “How was your day?”
His jaw twitches, showing the slightest hint of tension, a cue that a random person would never notice. But I’m tuned-in enough to Johnny to recognize when something is bothering him. “It was all right.”
I pop a French fry into my mouth. “Mmhm.”
I guess we’re both holding back from each other.
“I worried about you all day,” he admits, although I’m not so sure that’s the thing nagging at him.
I reach across the table and squeeze his hand. “But we did it. First day of school. No issues. Nothing major happened.”
He glances over at me with the last part. “But something minor?”
I smile and shake my head. “No. It went smoothly, really.”
“And the roads weren’t bad?”
“Nope. Not with snow. There’s a huge fucking pothole near the parking lot entrance, but other than that, it was fine.”Oh, and I want a sample of your DNA to see if you have any living relatives.I keep that bit to myself though.
I could easily just ask him. Johnny would probably do anything for me. But there’s the chance he says no. That he’s fine not knowing about his family because he’s okay with where he is—with me. That can’t be it, though; if there are others out there, shouldn’t he at leastknowabout them? Then he can make the choice as to whether or not he wants anything to do with them. That’s what I would want. But I shouldn’t assume he has the same mindset. And that’s why I’d rather figure it out first andthentell him if there’s something that needs to be told. It would be unfair of me to unravel any unwanted emotions without having any details to follow them up with.
Johnny grazes my arm with his finger. “What’s up with you?”
I glance over to meet his concerned look. This is where I open up my mouth and ask him the nagging question I can’t get out of my head. When I learn the truth of how he really feels about the mystery behind his past.
Instead, I say, “Do you have any food allergies?”
His luscious brows bunch together. “What?”
I urge my raging heart to slow its pace. “Yeah, like dairy or gluten? Peanuts maybe?”
Johnny scratches his temple. “I’m not following.”
I bite at the inside of my lip, forcing myself to come up with the rest of my lie. “In my nutrition class, we’re doing this test to see if we have any. I was just wondering if you did.”
It’s not completely farfetched. I am taking a nutrition course. And we did discuss this very topic. But we’re not actually checking for them, at least not that I’m aware of.
“Oh.” Johnny blinks. “No. I don’t think so.” He pauses then adds, “Do you?”
I shake my head. “Me either. But I have an extra swab if you wanted to make sure.” I let out a breath. “Hate to go through everything you have and then end up killing over from a random shellfish allergy.”
Johnny hesitantly buys my story. “Yeah, sure. I’ll take it with you. What do you need from me? Blood or something?”
I refrain from showing the emotion that’s nearly seeping from my pores as I make my way over to my backpack and pull out the little vial. “Just a cheek swab.” I hold it out and smile at him. I recall the details the professor had given us about making sure we hadn’t eaten or drank anything within thirty minutes of taking the test. “But we’ll have to wait.”
Johnny holds out his arms to me, a seductive grin on his beautiful face. The faint outlines of scars linger on his skin. One near his brow, another on his cheek, the bottom of his lip. Memories from a time I hope he never has to visit again. “I can think of something we can do to pass the time.”