Only, I’m not imagining it at all, it’s real.
“Is that coffee I smell?” His voice is barely a whisper, cracking with each word spoken.
I can’t help but break into a huge smile, tears streaming down despite having cried more than I thought humanly possible.
“Hey…it can’t be that bad, right?” He grins and then winces, clutching his side in the process. “That feels terrible.”
“Are you okay?”
Johnny reaches for me. “Come here.”
I stand from the chair and approach him hesitantly. I don’t want to cause him any more pain than he’s already in.
He grabs my face with his hand, gripping it firmly while eyeing me over. “Areyouokay?”
Leave it to Johnny to be concerned with someone else even though he’s the one lying in the hospital bed, a true testament to how selfless he is.
“I am now.” I smooth his hair off of his brow. “I thought I lost you.”
He shakes his head. “Can’t get rid of me that easily.” Johnny pulls me toward him, gently kissing my lips.
I’ll never quite get used to the feeling I get with him. It’s a mixture of bliss and the best possible high. It’s euphoric and unlike anything I’ve ever known.
“Is it any good?” He points to the paper cup I had forgotten all about.
I shrug. “Not sure.” I grab onto it and take a sip. “It’s pretty gross.”
“Let me try.” He takes it from me and brings it to his mouth. “Smells burnt.”
The door to the room opens and a round-faced nurse holding a chart walks in. “You’re awake, that’s great.” She looks at me. “Could we have a few moments alone?”
I don’t mean to, but I squeeze Johnny’s hand. The idea of not being with him is almost too much to handle. I just got him back, and now I have to leave again? What if something happens while I’m gone?
Johnny tightens his grip on me, too. “It’ll be okay. I’m not going anywhere, unless it’s to get a better cup of joe.” He holds out the cup for me to take. “I promise.”
Painfully, I walk away and out of the room, each step a twisted knife to my heart. I lean against the wall and lower myself to the ground, pulling my knees to my chest and holding them tightly. I refuse to cry anymore, even though the combination of everything going on is overwhelming. I have to be strong, if not for me, for Johnny.
There’s the sound of footsteps, and when I glance up, Bram picks up his pace.
“Did something happen?” His eyes widen.
I rise to my feet. “No. Everything is okay. There’s a nurse in there. She wanted privacy.”
Relief washes over him. “Oh. Okay.”
A second later, the same woman steps out. “You’re good to go back in. I just gave him a dose of pain medicine, though, so he might not be awake too much longer.” She points inside. “There are blankets in the cabinet, and you’re more than welcome to use the facilities.”
She must be referring to the fact that I’m covered in blood from head to toe.
“Thanks,” I tell her.
Bram and I enter the room, each of us taking a side of the bed.
“You had us worried, kid,” Bram tells Johnny.
“Sorry, old man.” His voice is slurring.
“Everything go okay?” I nod toward the door where the nurse just exited.