TWENTY-FIVE
Mila
The driveback to campus is unbearable. The rolling green vistas in the mountains cannot distract from the silence in this vehicle.
Before we left, Emmeline came to say goodbye and loaded me with leftovers. She hugged me one last time, and I almost cried again.
Carl gave me a proper dad hug, said he hoped to see me again soon and called me kiddo.
All the siblings, nephews, and nieces stood at the top of the driveway and waved goodbye to us like we were crossing the ocean, never to return.
Do they know that I might never be back? Do they know that I continue to be full of shit and that I will be leaving tonight?
But the silence in the car. The icy silence…this tells me everything I need to know about how Ozzie is feeling. And I hate it. I hate that I somehow ruined this lovely drive. The road to Pine Mountain is excruciating.
I don’t know where; I don’t know how. I don’t have Khaz to help me make a new start like before. I’ll have to figure it all out on my own.
But I have to do something, and I can’t stay.
Ozzie’s going to be a problem. He’s the one person who’s not buying my story that I won’t run away.
The biggest reason this is excruciating is that I’m losing a friend. I’m surrounded by friends at Beta Beta Psi, so why does this hurt so much? Is he right? Do I love him?
If I didn’t love him, this wouldn’t hurt so much.
“You can go now,” I say when he hauls my overnight bags up the steps at Beta Beta Psi. Nobody’s on the porch swing today, and nobody is bursting through the front door to greet us. The house is empty because half of them are spending the rest of fall break at Meghan’s vacation house at Lake Lure, and the rest have gone home. Classes start on Tuesday, so people won’t trickle back to Beta Beta Psi until Monday afternoon.
The house is empty.
The campus is mostly empty. This would be the perfect time for Crypto to show up. A shiver runs down my spine.
I need a minute to think, to plan.
Ozzie ignores this and hauls my bags straight through the front door and into my room.
“You don’t have to—“
“Shut it,” he grunts, plopping my suitcase on the bed. Then he stands back, folds his arms across his broad chest, and glares down at me. Just watching me.
I stand there staring back at him from across the bed, run a hand over my forehead, and then smooth my hair. I feel caught, self-conscious, and don’t know what to do with my body.
“Well?” Ozzie grunts again, his chin jerking toward the suitcase. “Aren’t you going to unpack your things?”
He’s making this so damn difficult. “I’ll wait until after you go. Do you want to go into the kitchen and get a Coke for the road?”
“No. I’m more interested to see whether you decide to pretend to unpack so I’ll feel secure enough to leave or grab even more of your things before you ditch me. Either way, this should be fun.”
I take a step back as if my eyes need more distance to see how much Ozzie dwarfs the whole room at this moment. By telling me he’s not having my bullshit and refusing to leave, he’s grown ten inches somehow. His head brushes against the pink teardrop-shaped beads that hang from the Ikea chandelier over my desk.
“Alright, fine. Yes. I’m leaving. So you can stay here and watch me go like a sad puppy, or you can hold your head high and go back to your family. Either way is fine with me. It’s your choice to make this as painful as possible for both of us.”
He says nothing to that, so I blow out a breath and go to my closet and grab my favorite boots and dress. I don’t have much; the upside is this won’t take long.
When I finish, Ozzie has moved from my desk to the doorway of my room. My arms loaded down with totes, bags slung over my shoulders, I head for the door. But Ozzie doesn’t budge.
I lower my shoulders in exasperation. “Come on, Ozzie. I gotta go.”
“No.”