NINETEEN
Mila
Because I’m stillguilty about deceiving Ozzie and his family, I can’t fall asleep immediately. I listen to his breathing become heavy and steady and let my mind escape into a fantasy. One where I’m a part of all this, with no deception. Everyone knows my past, and they miraculously don’t care.
I allow my hand to clasp Ozzie’s big forearm that circles around my front, and when I stroke back and forth, he nuzzles closer and sighs, settling deeper into the pillows. Like a giant dog. Every move, every noise he makes squeezes my heart. Some devils look like angels when they sleep. Ozzie’s already an angel, and when he’s asleep, he’s unbearably pure.
Setting aside my guilt, I allow myself to enjoy this moment. Pretend that we’re really together. Someday, some woman will be fortunate to have this every night. For now, it’s me. I’ll have this night, this whole weekend, to look back on and remember fondly what it’s like to be part of something ordinary but also extraordinary.
When I wake up the following day, I’ve rotated around to face him, and his arm is still draped around my middle. But in this position, his hand is now on my butt. My eyes fly open, but he’s still asleep. Ozzie stirs slightly, exhaling a sexy grunt as he readjusts, pulling me closer. He’s straight up cupping one chubby cheek like I’m his personal comfort object. My face is right up in his bare chest. I like this too much. My whole body likes this too much. In this position, my arms are bunched close to my chest.
I should not continue what we started last night. I should not adjust my arms so that my hands touch his chest. I should not slide my arms upward to explore his bare shoulders, allowing him to hitch our lower bodies together, bringing us closer. But that’s precisely what I do. I do all of that.
My body reaches out, wanting more.
And Ozzie…he does what Ozzie does.