I whisper in her ear, “Tomorrow, I’ve to tell you something, lassie.”I’m in the business of selling drugs.God, promise she’ll stay.
41
Ava
Cue the angelic symphony, I’ve awakened on cloud nine. An ethereal glow from the rising sun warms me from the inside out. Rolling to my side, I watch the stony marbling of Kieran’s jaw while he’s at peace.
Oye, Ava, you let yourself feel, and when you allowed that to occur, a part of you awoke.
I bite my eyelids shut, barricading the mirage of tears collecting in my gaze. The gloomy day I laid my Arika to rest becomes a vice around my throat, constricting my airway. I can’t justbehappy.Arms cocooning my waist, I silently climb from the bed. I prayed for a perfect last night. But I never had much faith in the follow-through.
As my stomach begs to expel the meager contents from yesterday’s dinner, I hurry toward the bathroom.
A while later, I climb up from spewing into the toilet bowl. With a groan, I run water, warming the shower while I brush my teeth. Within minutes a smoky haze peppers over my skin.
Through the mist, Kieran materializes. His sexy gray eyes are hooded, his hair unkempt, and the plains of his washboard abdominals stand out. With a dusting of hair disappearing into the cotton pajama pants hanging on his hips, I burn for him. Even relaxed and unaware, he’s got the kind of swagger that makes you exhale.
Planted behind me, Kieran drapes an arm over my shoulder. His hand clutches my neck, twisting me until my puckered mouth reaches his lips.
“Ohhh, Ifeckinglike this.”
“What?”
“Waking up with my woman. You still afraid of forever, little bird?”
I unravel myself from his despotic embrace. “I’m not afraid of forever, Kieran...I . . .”I’m falling hard—fast—then guilt attacks.His intense stare fills up the bathroom like a dark, rumbling storm.
Sighing, Kieran speaks in a voice a low, smooth as a drum. “I’ve gotta tell you, Ava.”
The desire to break all the chains shielding us from each other glints in his gaze. In some capacity, Kieran’s a drug lord. If he’d led with his lifestyle, I could’ve hated him a lifetime. Slowly the truth has come to fruition. The kid who was too proud to take a runner assignment yesterday was the last puzzle piece.
But something stirs in my soul. “Stop living in fear, Kier.”
“I’m trying to tell y— What thefeckare you talking about?” Caught off guard, Kieran sizzles with anger. “I ain’t scared ofshite.”
I’ve trapped myself in a room with a feral, wounded beast. He flinches as my knuckles scuff his stubbled jaw but stays put.
“Tragedy scares you to death, baby.” The sting of tears in my eyes signifies how much I adore Kieran, not because he’s inflicted pain on my body. “Your mom—”
“You’re off yourfeckinghead, Ava,” Kieran emphasizes each word as one would while scolding a tot.
A string of apologies tangles in my throat. “You lost your parents. Kiera said they were religious. When Papa died, Mama said, ‘To be absent from the body means to be present with the Lord.’ Your mama’s at peace, Kier. Nevertheless, you feel guilty...and afraid for your little sister. Continue to put her first whilebeing therefor her. If your parents were to see you, a month from now, a year—”
“Ava,” he growls.
Maybe the wounds are too deep for speculation. The prickly stubble at his jaw is an assault to my palms as I grab his face and look him in the eye. “Yourpadreswillbe proud of you. So, get out of your fucking head, push forward, and care forourKiera.”
Kieran’s gigantic hands form over the backs of mine, pushing away my tender touch. He rakes a hand through his disheveled hair as anguish tightens his already chiseled facial features. He’s a big, powerful, broken man who holds it all together. Torn down to silent nods, a bit of his fury fades. No, he doesn’t feel emasculated by my statement. The killer feels . . . free. I smooth my hands over his chest, feeling a sharp pang of regret. Forever’s not the next step for us. Not now.
Fusing our lips, I taste his mouth and groan as if in physical pain.
The desire for us to be together claws at my heart. Kieran shreds the few scraps of clothing on our bodies like Tarzan. My thighs encase his muscular hips, and our mouths seal once more. Water cascades over our entwined bodies. My spine slams against the marble wall as Kieran fills me to the hilt.
“Oh, I’m gonnafeckyou so good for bossing me around, lassie.” His cock punctuates each word, slamming into me with brute force. Each strike batters my back. But when Kieran pulls out, I’m scrambling to grab his ass and claim more blissful agony.
“I need more,” I pant in a ragged voice. Kieran descends to his knees, spreading my delicate folds open like a freshly blossomed spring flower.
The dark hair slicks down around him, but as Kieran eats me, he looks up, dedication shining in his eyes. I’m intoxicated by the liberating power of love.He loves me for me. I just hope after I leave Kieran, fate will step in.