Whistling, I tell Wilmer, “Listen, ye’ll not be here for much longer. This is where laddies like ye go to die. So, trust, ye will return here before takin’ yer last breath. As stated, more MacKenzies will be wanting to say hello to ye. Especially since ye came in contact with a mate of ours.”
My hands curl under at the thought of Bawbag Hank.
“Aye, we’re gonna kill ye a hunner times over, pal.” James pats the top of Wilmer’s head.
I grab a sledgehammer from the tool area and head back over. With James crouched down, choking Wilmer from behind, the bawbag’s arse and legs lift off the ground as he kicks out.
“James here is gonna take ye to the rest of our clan . . . a little initiation of sorts. That’s where the real fun begins. But I’m part o’ the welcome committee.”
My cousin glares up at me, mouthing he’s still sleepy. Um-hmm, he conveniently became wide awake for entertainment purposes, aye?
“While ye meet more clan, I’m gonna go welcome home the one ye called a fat lass. Her plane is almost here.” I hoist the hammer up, balancing the weight with my forearms. “So, since James decided no ties for ye, I’ll concede. Nae ties.”
The sledgehammer rockets down, crushing through the myriad of bones in Wilmer’s foot. Blood and fragments mush out on the cement. Whimpers come from the duct tape over his mouth.
“Wake up, friend.” James pats his face while I execute the same treatment to his other foot. “I don’t think he’ll make it, cousin.”
“All the drugs this guy takes, of course, he’ll make it. Now, yer hands, Wilmer. I might not have any advanced degrees or awards, but I’m an efficient fecker.”
The lad shakes his head. Snot mingles with tears on his cheeks. James lets his throat go.
“This is all my fault, friend.” James laughs. “I didn’t have enough tape. But after the talk I had with that arsehole Hank, this makes me feel a little better. Ye are halfway done, mate.”
I wriggle my shoulders, act like I’m up to bat at Dodgers stadium. James assists Wilmer with placing his hand on the ground. Now, I’ve gotta tell Justice how Bawbag Hank and I made a new agreement. He abducted Wilmer as a favor to his great Uncle Ewan, and as of that night, I became officially engaged.