As Brody patiently waits, I lick my lips. “I learned how to feeldepressed and ugly. No little Black girl grows up thinking she’s ugly. Some piece of shit gets into her head, telling her she’s not worthy.”
I drop my head back and groan. “Then after Lance died, I harbored thoughts of hate for a man who killed himself. Nobody knows that but you, Brody. I grew to hate Lance.” I let the truth sink in for a second. “I’m an idiot.”
“Och, Justice.” Brody bites his bottom lip. The living room looks so damn small with him in it. He’s such a dominating figure, even more so while I continue to share.
“Everyone pities the girl still in love with the dead guy. Furthest thing from the truth, though. They’re not aware of how he treated me. I put that motherfucker on a pedestal. I tried, but it was never enough for Lance.” I scoff. “Then Marcus made Lance’s problem my problem. Now, you know everything.”
“Feck the lad, Justice. If we can find Marcus—”
“Yeah, fuck him,” I murmur, nodding my head. I take a few measured steps backward before I lock gazes with him. “And fuck you, Brody MacKenzie. You don’t get to cheat on your fiancée with me. Or have an open marriage with me. No late-night fuck sessions, no early morning pussy.” I pause to breathe. “I respect Erika, and I damn sure respect myself.”
Brody’s voice is gravelly with pent-up emotion. “Fecking ye is the last thing on my mind, right now, Justice. I wanted to talk is all.”
“Brody, you abhor this part.” My tone softens. “No matter how much my body begs for you, we can’t be together. You love your family, and that’s amazing. But there will always be something. In less than two weeks, you’re having an engagement party.”
“Jus—”
“Yes, I know these things. Next, you’ll put a ring on Erika’s finger—and you’ll compromise your happiness for the benefit of your families. That leaves me the odd woman out. So, when it comes to us, I’m choosing me this time around, and I honestly hope . . .” My voice breaks because if we’re counting lies, I’m starting to tell them too. A poignant sob escapes my lips. “I hope the two of you make each other happy one day.”