He doesn’t squeeze back, but he doesn’t reject me, and that’s enough.
“Were you ever happy?”
“No,” he murmurs. “Not until I moved to Australia. When I learned about great whites, I was instantly enraptured by them—obsessed, even.SuorCaterinaknew I would never give myself to God, so she gave me what money she could spare, helped me get a visa, and sent me to Australia about a month after my eighteenth birthday. It was the only time I felt like she might have truly cared for me. I got a job working at a bait and tackle shop, put myself through university, and worked my ass off. That… that was when I was happiest. Broke, alone, but in the ocean, doing what I loved.”
He finally looks at me, but his expression is on lockdown. It’s only now that I notice the crying from above has stopped, replaced by a tense silence. It makes me nervous, yet with Enzo right beside me, I’ve never felt safer.
“Were you ever happy?” he asks, turning the question onto me.
I twist my lips, contemplating that.
“When I was younger, yeah. Before Kevin changed. We used to have fun playing together. Back then, he was nice to me, and my parents weren’t disappointed in me.”
“Why were they disappointed?”
“I wasn’t him,” I say, bitterness leaking into my tone. “Once he started abusing me, I became withdrawn. I was rebellious, while he was the perfect angel. They wanted their sweet little girl back, but they wouldn’t listen when I said their sweet little boy was the one who broke me.”
I can’t see his eyes, but I can feel the anger emanating from him.
“When they died, I was almost glad for it,” I admit. “Because at least then, I didn’t have to convince them that I wasn’t a liar anymore. Funny, that’s exactly who I became when I finally got away from him.”
“Yet, he still haunts you.”
I nod. “Just as your mother haunts you.”
A dimple on the side of his cheek appears.
“Then maybe we could show each other how to let go, yeah?”
I bite my lip, a flood of emotion rising up my throat. I’m still terrified, still convinced there’s no way Enzo can get me out from Kevin’s hold, but I want to let him try, even if it’s selfish.
“Yeah,” I croak, my voice hoarse with unshed tears.
He faces the ceiling again. “Start by telling me the things that make you happy now.”
I smile softly. “Senile Suzy makes me happy. It’s an old Volkswagen van I bought when I first came to Port Valen. I left her inValen’s Bendcampground, and I think she’s going to be gone by the time I get back.” That hurts a little, so I forge on. “Simon makes me happy, too. He’s the one that gave me my tattoo on my thigh. I hardly know him, but he’s the first friend I’ve ever had.”
He’s quiet for a beat, then he says, “They’ll be there waiting for you,” he vows. “I’ll make sure of it.”
The tears are threatening to spill over so I find something else to say before they do.
“Hey, Enzo?”
“Hmm?”
“I’m glad that you found peace. At least until you met me,” I say, ending with a sardonic snort.
There’s a brief pause before he lets loose the softest chuckle, causing my stomach to somersault.
“You’re right. You’ve brought chaos into my life.”
And then, finally, he closes his hand around mine, squeezing back.
“I like it,bella.”
Chapter 25
Sawyer